In the Bleak Midwinter
by Alexandra Lyman
Summary: Rose and the Alt!Doctor have been left in Pete's World, and it's only a few days before Christmas. Can they find their way into a new human life together?
1. Lines in the Sand

Author's Notes: There's been a lot of wonderful stories about Rose and the human Doctor post Journey's End that I've enjoyed reading. This is my contribution about them starting their new life together.

In the Bleak Midwinter

Chapter 1, Lines in the Sand

Chapter 1: Lines in the Sand

Rose stared in shock as the TARDIS disappeared. The years of work, the frantic search through more universes then she could count, and it had all ended here again. The windswept beach that had haunted her dreams, and words that continued to go unspoken.

Only they hadn't. He was here, holding her hand. He had said the words, a soft whisper in her ear that had echoed through her as if he had shouted them. The Doctor's face, the Doctor's voice, it was everything she had ever wanted. Except somehow not.

Behind them Rose could hear her mother talking on her mobile, to Pete, Rose assumed, since for once her mum was keeping her voice down. The Doctor continued to stare at her, not saying anything. It was unusual for him to be so quiet, or maybe it wasn't, for this man. They'd both insisted that they were the same, but if they were, then how could one of them leave and one stay?

"Right," Jackie said, and Rose let go of the Doctor's hand to turn around and face her mother. "Pete's coming, and he's bringing a jumper for you."

She'd directed her comment to the Doctor, and he tilted his head and looked at her in confusion.

"What do I need a jumper for?" he asked, plucking at his shirt.

"Not that kind of jumper. A portable teleporter," Rose explained.

"Ah," he said, and then his eyes narrowed, "Teleport?"

"They're not the same as the ones they used before to cross dimensions. They're just for transport on Earth, and we really only use them in emergencies anyway."

"This is an emergency?" The Doctor asked.

Jackie snorted, "We've been abandoned in Norway miles from the nearest town in the middle of December! Yes, I'd say this bloody qualifies as an emergency."

The mention of the date made Rose suddenly aware of how cold it was and she shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. The Doctor was apparently just noticing the temperature as well.

"Blimey, it's cold! Is this what winter feels like to humans? It's a wonder you haven't all moved to Australia."

"Yes, well thanks for the brilliant suggestion!" Jackie shot back, "We'll get on that right away!"

Rose ignored the bickering and trudged across the beach to where the TARDIS had stood. She looked down at the marks it had left in the sand, a few lines and a slight depression were the only signs it had been there. When the tide came in it would be washed away, and it would be like it had never happened at all.

A tall shadow fell across the TARDIS's footprint. Rose looked at it, a new thought occurring to her.

"Did you have any choice in this?" she asked, not looking at him, "Did he decide for you too?"

The Doctor sighed, "It wasn't really a question of choice, Rose."

"There's always a choice," she insisted. "He chose to leave. But did you choose to stay?"

"I didn't need to choose. There's no other place for me, then here with you."

Rose closed her eyes at his words. She had asked the question, but she didn't know how to respond to the answer. All she wanted to do was the scream, _"Why?",_ at the universe, at the Doctor who left, at the Doctor who stayed, _"Why did this happen? I don't understand!"_

There was a sudden bang and flash of light several feet away from them, and Rose looked up to see Pete had teleported in. Jackie yelled, "Thank GOD!" and Pete ran past them to sweep her up in a hug. After a long moment, they broke apart and made their way over to where Rose stood with the Doctor.

Rose hugged Pete and whispered, "Thanks, Dad," forcing a smile for him. Pete looked from her face to the Doctor standing slightly behind her, and Rose wondered what her mum had said to explain the situation.

"Hello Pete. Good to see you again," the Doctor said, stepping forward to shake Pete's hand.

"Doctor," Pete nodded, "So Jackie says you're coming home with us?"

The Doctor glanced at Rose and she met his eyes. This universe had never felt like home to her, no matter how hard her mum, Pete, and Mickey had tried to get her to accept it. Home had been the past, the future, the furthest reaches of space. Home had been a bigger on the inside blue box. Home had been wherever the Doctor was.

And now he was here. There was still a Time Lord out there beyond her reach and her heart ached for him. But the man next to her had held her in his arms and he had felt like home too.

Rose held her hand out and he took it instantly.

_"Rose Tyler, I love you."_

There was always a choice.

Right now she chose to believe.

"Yeah," Rose said, squeezing the Doctor's hand, "We're going home."


	2. Flotsam and Jetsam

"Well, here we are."

The Doctor followed Rose into her flat, standing awkwardly in the entryway while she removed her jacket and shoes. The last few hours had passed in a whirlwind, teleporting from Norway to Torchwood, assuring all the anxious people there that the threat had been neutralized and the universe wasn't going to be destroyed, Rose giving an abbreviated report on all her dimension jumping, the Doctor deflecting all the questions that had been aimed at him, Jackie and Rose's brief but epic battle over whether they would go to Rose's flat or back to the house with Jackie and Pete. The Doctor and Pete had both wisely stayed quiet on the sidelines for that.

Rose had won, and after another meeting with more Torchwood people who's names he'd been told and promptly forgotten, she'd taken him by the hand again and they had left the building and grabbed a taxi for the short trip to her home. They'd made a quick stop at a Tesco's, the Doctor waiting in the car while Rose ran in and picked up a few things for him to use until they went on a proper shopping trip to kit him out. There was no wardrobe for him to raid anymore.

He had stared out the taxi window at the Christmas lights strung up along the shopfronts and the gaudy holiday displays. It had been May in the other universe, but here it was December, Christmas only a few days away. He couldn't help but think of the last Christmas he had spent with Rose, newly born into this face, this personality, and terrified that she wouldn't be able to accept the change.

Now he was new again, and not, and still scared that she'd turn away. He was technically only a few hours old but he wasn't naive. He knew that Rose's kiss had more to do with the other Doctor then him. She'd been hurting, and he was a fair substitute for the man she really wanted.

_"But he's not you."_

He forced a smile when she climbed back in the car beside him.

Rose flicked on a few lights and he slowly made his way into the room, holding the bags with the things she had bought him. He realized this was the first time they had been alone together since being reunited.

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

The Doctor frowned, "Not sure. Suppose I should be, this body hasn't eaten anything at all yet."

"I'll phone for a takeaway. Chinese okay?"

"Yes, fine."

Rose disappeared into the kitchen and he heard her talking on the phone. He dropped the bags on her coffee table and sat gingerly down on the sofa. There was a million things he wanted to say to Rose and he had no idea where to start.

_"So Rose, how have you been? Rose, you brilliant human, how in the world did you manage to find me again? Rose, I missed you more then I can possibly say. Rose, are you still in love with me? Rose, it's still me. Rose, can I just say again that I love you? I love you, I love you, I love you."_

She emerged from the kitchen and he didn't say any of it.

"I'm going to take a shower before the food comes," Rose said, passing him a few folded up bills, "Here's money if they show up before I'm finished."

The Doctor took the money, nodding at her. Rose tilted her head and looked at him for a long moment, and he wondered what she was thinking.

"Make yourself at home," she finally said.

When Rose left the room the Doctor stood up and made a slow circuit around it. He was very curious about what her life had been like in this universe. The flat was nothing like the one she had shared with Jackie back on the estate, it was a ground floor unit in a converted Georgian townhouse and definitely looked like it cost a pretty penny. The lounge was spacious and simply furnished with a sofa, two chairs, coffee table. An entertainment unit held a TV and DVD player, movies neatly arranged in long rows on the shelves. The Doctor looked at the titles and recognized several as being Rose's favourites in the other universe.

There was a fireplace in one corner of the room, with Christmas cards lined up on the mantel. There was no other holiday decor, no tree or wreath. He supposed she had been too busy to bother much with Christmas. The thought made him sad. He remembered Jackie's plastic flocked tree and the cheap tinsel tacked to the walls and Rose's happy smiles when they all sat down to dinner. Would she smile at him like that again, he wondered?

Moving along, he examined a large photo frame hanging on the wall. It had spaces for multiple pictures, the largest being a formal one of Jackie and Pete. Jackie wore a cream suit and held a bouquet, Pete was dressed in a grey morning coat. A second wedding, he guessed. There were several photos that featured a blond baby who must be Tony, wrapped in a blanket and snuggled in Rose's arms, taking unsteady steps with his tiny hands held by Pete, being swung up into the air by a laughing Mickey. They were all such ordinary human moments. But extraordinary to him.

Rose reappeared just as he was unpacking the bags of food in her kitchen.

"Perfect timing," the Doctor said to her. She was dressed in grey sweatpants and a pink T-shirt, her hair damp and combed back from her face. He remembered seeing her in similar states dozens of times on the TARDIS. Being with her again, the long years of separation suddenly seemed like they had passed in the blink of an eye.

They ate at Rose's small dining table, the Doctor finding he was, in fact, hungry. He dug into the food with gusto, much to Rose's amusement. Once they had eaten their fill, he took the dirty plates back into the kitchen and placed them in the sink. He turned back to the table, and stopped dead when he saw the pained look on Rose's face. She was staring at a slip of paper in her hands, and as he watched her face crumpled and she began to cry.

"Rose?" he knelt by her chair and put his hand on her arm, "What's wrong?"

She passed him the paper and he looked at it in confusion.

"Damn fortune cookie," Rose mumbled.

_"A long journey has come to an end" _it read.

"Oh." he said.

Rose flung her arms around his neck and he nearly fell over at the unexpected movement. He felt her shaking against him as the sobs wracked her body.

"Oh, Rose," he murmured into her hair, feeling his heart ache at her distress, "Don't cry." How many times had she cried because of him, he wondered. Too many. Far too many.

He slipped an arm under her legs and lifted her up, cradling her against his chest as he moved into the lounge. Rose pressed her face against his shoulder and he felt her tears soak into his shirt. The Doctor sat down carefully on the sofa, keeping Rose pulled tight against him.

"I'm sorry," she gasped, "I'm just....it's not...I'm so confused!"

"It's not what you expected, I know," the Doctor said, rubbing circles into her back. _"I'm not what you expected," _he thought.

Rose pulled back to look at him, tears continuing to streak down her face.

"I tried to prepare myself. I didn't know what I'd find, if I managed to get back to you. Him. I knew maybe you'd be different again. I thought maybe that you'd have moved on, wouldn't want me back again."

"Rose," he tried to reassure her, but she kept going, didn't let him speak.

"And then I found you, and it was still you, and the way you looked at me when you were running down the street, I knew, I _knew_ it was all worth it, and we would be together. And now we are...but you left me! He left me. He just walked away, no goodbye, and how could he do that? How? And how can I be so angry at him...when you're him! You said you love me."

"I do! I love you so much," he said, desperate for her to believe him.

"But doesn't that mean he does, too? Or did that all go to you?"

"It didn't work that way. He didn't transfer his love for you to me, if that's what you're thinking."

Rose bowed her head and swiped at her eyes with one hand. The Doctor put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face back up to him.

"I told you I have all the same memories. I remember running to you, Rose. I remember lying in the street after being shot and still managing to feel happy, because you were there with me and I never dreamed that I'd see you again. I remember the first time on the beach, how badly it hurt to say goodbye to you, not being able to touch you one last time."

He leaned forward, touching his forehead to hers. Rose closed her eyes and they breathed together, in and out. Her hand came up and pressed against his chest, against the single heart that beat for her.

"He loves you. He loves you very much. And it wasn't easy for him to walk away, I know it wasn't," he said. His Time Lord self had been in agony, but in the end leaving Rose was the only thing he could do. He'd been forced to choose between her and the universe too many times and the consequences either way could be catastrophic. Save millions and lose her. Save her and lose the world. This new, half-human him would never have to make that choice. His responsibility was only to Rose now.

"And he knows how much I love you. He'll take comfort in knowing that," he said, knowing the other him would cling to that comfort when he was alone again, as he was destined to be. Donna...he wouldn't think about Donna, not yet. Remember her as she had been, not think of what had been inevitable, the true price of his creation.

Rose sighed, shifting in his arms so that she was curled up against him again. The Doctor rested his chin against the top of her head and they stayed that way for a long time.

He was caught by surprise when a yawn came out of him.

"It's late," Rose said, "We should get some sleep."

The Doctor agreed and followed her off the sofa. He was curious as to what the sleeping arrangements were going to be but felt a sudden shyness

in asking. He didn't want Rose to feel any pressure from him, not when she was dealing with so much already.

Rose picked up the Tesco's bags and headed down a short hallway, "Bathroom's there," she said, pointing to a door, "And this is my office."

The Doctor looked into the room and saw a desk with a computer, a large bookcase, and a futon. Well, that was the answer to his question. Rose bustled around, pulling out an armful of sheets and blankets and folding the futon down into a bed. He slipped off into the bathroom while she got the room ready, using the new toothbrush she had bought him. He rummaged in the bags and found a razor, shaving gel, a stick of deodorant, a three-pack of boxer shorts, and a pair of green plaid pyjamas. Those few items, and the random pieces of flotsam and jetsam rattling around in his suit pockets, were the only things he owned in this world. It was a meagre assortment by anyone's standard, let alone a man who was used to carting around a millennium's worth of acquisitions.

But he had Rose. At least, he thought he did. The man who had held the universe in the palm of his hand now had nothing to offer her except himself. No more time travel. No distant planets to explore. Cast adrift in the human world, just a man with a single heart and a single lifespan. It was terrifying, but strangely freeing in a way, too.

He stripped out of his suit and put on the pyjamas. Leaving the toiletry items next to the sink, he carried the rest back into Rose's spare room. She was sitting on the futon and stood up when he entered. The Doctor set his things down on the desk chair and held his arms out to her.

"Goodnight hug?" he asked, hopefully. She smiled at him and stepped into his embrace, arms going around his shoulders. He squeezed her waist gently, and felt her hands slide down to rest on his chest. Rose pulled back slightly and looked up at his face, then she rose up on her toes and placed a soft kiss against his lips.

"Goodnight, Doctor," she said, and with another smile that made his new human heart miss a beat, turned and left the room.


	3. A Long, Long Time

Oxford Street was as much a shopper's paradise in this universe as it had been in the other, and after a quick breakfast in her flat Rose had taken the Doctor to buy some new clothes. Their first stop had been for a coat, as the December weather was too chilly for him to be walking around in just a suit. He let her take the lead, and they weaved in and around the throngs of holiday shoppers as she considered the menswear options.

Rose was so used to seeing him in a suit, it was strange to be picking out jeans and T-shirts. But he seemed open to actually varying his wardrobe the way most humans normally did, and she had to admit she was having a little fun dressing him up.

"How about..." she started to ask, turning around with two jumpers in her hand, but he was gone, "Doctor?"

She looked around and spotted him a few displays away, holding a brown pinstriped suit jacket against himself and frowning down at it.

"What do you think?" he asked when she made her way over, "Close, isn't it?"

Rose ran her hand along the fabric. It was a good match for the one she remembered. Close...not exact, but close. A bit like him.

"Do you want it?" she asked, and his face broke out in a grin.

"Yeah, I do."

"Alright then," Rose said, "Let's find the salesperson and get you measured."

In the end they ordered three suits, the brown pinstripe, a grey pinstripe, and one in black. The suits would be altered and delivered to her flat. They left the store, juggling the bags with their other purchases, and Rose felt her stomach growl.

"Time for lunch." she said.

"A place without Christmas music, please. If I hear Jingle Bells one more time I'm going to go bonkers."

Rose laughed and looped her arm through his, "Try working in a shop during the holidays. Only had to go through it once at Henrick's but by the middle of December I was ready to punch Santa Claus in the face."

"Ooh, I would love to see that. All the poor little children crying as you broke Santa's nose."

"Shut up," she said, and nudged against him with her shoulder.

They headed down the street and found a relatively quiet pub in which to have lunch. Rose dropped the bags with a grateful sigh and sat down in a booth. The Doctor slid in opposite her, and reached across the table for her hand. A waitress came by with menus and recited the specials, and they placed their orders. Just as she left Rose's mobile rang, and she pulled it out of her purse and had a brief conversation with Pete.

"Everything OK?" the Doctor asked when she hung up.

"Yeah," Rose replied, "That was Dad. He's going to set up an identity for you, birth certificate, passport, all that. He just needs to know what name you want."

The Doctor sat back, a thoughtful look on his face, "Didn't think about that," he admitted, "But I guess that's what humans do, right? Have names, and certificates and licenses and things."

"That we do. You don't have to decide now, we can tell him later. Big decision, picking a name."

The food arrived and they both began to eat. Rose was curious as to what name the Doctor would choose for himself.

"Does Harry Potter exist in this universe?" he asked suddenly.

"Yes, why?"

"Bugger. Guess I can't pick Albus Dumbledore for my name then."

Rose choked on her burger. The Doctor appeared not to notice as he rambled on, "Or Sirius Black, that would have been a good name. Hmm, well what about James Bond?"

She managed to swallow her food, "What about James Bond what?" she asked, reaching for her glass of water.

"Does James Bond exist in this universe?"

"Actually, no, he doesn't. Not the books or the movies."

The Doctor grinned, that same manic grin she had seen a thousand times, "How bout that then? James Bond!"

Rose started to cough wildly as the water went down the wrong pipe, and he suddenly looked concerned.

"You alright?" he asked. She stared at him.

"You're not serious? James Bond?"

"Well, why not?"

"That's....that's...You can't call yourself James Bond!"

"Sure I can. I'm Bond, James Bond," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her, "I'd like a martini please, shaken, not stirred."

The waitress was passing by their table and overheard, "A martini?" she asked, looking at the Doctor.

Rose pushed her plate away and laid her head down on the table. She tried to stifle it, but despite her best efforts she began to giggle.

"Rose?" The Doctor asked, and she laughed harder, shoulders shaking. Only he would think of something like that.

"You cannot call yourself James Bond," she repeated, still facedown.

"Why not?" the Doctor asked, a pouty tone in his voice.

Rose lifted her head, "Because I'll never be able to say it with a straight face. Oh, hello, I'm Rose Tyler, and I'd like you to meet James Bond over here. No, Doctor, just no."

"Oh fine," he said, still pouting, "Spoilsport."

The waitress came back with a glass, "Your martini," she said, putting it down in front of him.

Rose went facedown again and dissolved into laughter.

"You're not being much help," the Doctor said in a mild voice, "Here I come up with a perfectly valid suggestion and all you can do is laugh."

"Did anyone ever tell you you're completely mad?" Rose asked, lifting her head.

"Oh yes." he winked, lifting the martini glass up and saluting her with it.

She smirked back in response, and they finished their lunch.

"Mum wants us to come over for dinner tonight," Rose said, as they gathered their things together and prepared to leave, "You can meet Tony."

"How old is he?" the Doctor asked, "I saw some pictures in you flat, but I didn't know how recent they were."

"He's three," Rose replied, slipping into her coat. She saw the Doctor giving her a sidelong look, "What?"

"So it's been four years for you then?"

Rose paused, biting her lip. The Doctor dropped his gaze to the floor.

"Yes," she said after a long moment, "Four and a half, actually."

Four and a half years since she fell of the lever and landed in the world that had everything she wanted except him. She looked away as well.

"Long time," the Doctor said, "You still..." he stopped, didn't finish the sentence.

Rose felt herself twitch, "I still what?" she asked.

"You still wanted to come back. After four and a half years."

Their eyes met and she saw surprise on his face.

"Of course I did." she said, feeling uncomfortable with the way the conversation had turned. She wanted to ask how long it had been for him, but couldn't get the question out. One of her biggest fears had been finding him and discovering that to him she was part of a long distant past that he barely remembered, a ghost from lifetimes ago.

"Two thousand and eighty seven days." he said.

"What?" Rose asked, confused.

"In linear Earth days, it was two thousand and eighty seven, or slightly less then six years, for me."

"Oh."

"Course it could have been two hundred thousand days and it wouldn't have mattered. I would have still wanted you to come back."

Rose blinked in surprise, wondering if he'd somehow heard her thoughts. She picked up the shopping bags and they silently made their way out of the pub, the Doctor slightly ahead of her. Sitting together at lunch, laughing at his daft choices for names had made the weight of their separation seem very far away, but it was back again, heavy on her shoulders and leaden in her chest. More then once over the four and a half years it had threatened to push her under, but she had always been able to claw back to the surface on the strength of her belief that she'd find him again. The people at Torchwood had quickly learned that failure was not an option to Rose Tyler.

But it had been a long time. She remembered the day she'd realized she'd spent more time in this world then she had with the Doctor. Had gone out with Jake and gotten royally drunk and spent the night sobbing on the bathroom floor. Spent three days in bed reliving every moment with him she could remember, and wondering if it was finally time to let him go.

She couldn't do it in the end, couldn't give up completely. But she had made more of an effort to make a life for herself. Went on holiday. Made some new friends. Even dated a bit. Tried to fit herself into a world that sometimes felt like it had no space for Rose Tyler. Not quite the fantastic life he'd once asked her to lead.

The street was much busier when they left the pub, filled with harried-looking shoppers. They stuck close together, making their way to the taxi stand in front of Selfridges. While they waited in the queue the Doctor shifted the bags he held to one hand and slipped the other into hers.

"Rose?"

She looked over at him.

"I'm very glad you came back."

"Me too."


	4. What Really Matters

Author's Notes: In this chapter the Doctor chooses a human name, and I went with something different then what a lot of authors are doing, (John Smith, John Noble). It was hard to come up with something that wasn't hopelessly lame, and I'm not quite sure I succeded, but anyway, I hope you all like it and thank you very much for all the lovely reviews.

They sat together in the back of a sleek Mercedes sedan that Jackie had sent to ferry them to the house. He had raised his eyebrows at the car, another sign of Rose's different status in this world, but she hadn't noticed, nodding at the driver as he held the door open for her. Clearly she had grown used to certain luxuries. The Doctor watched the scenery flash by the window, cataloging this London against the one he knew.

"This isn't the same house," he said when they pulled into the drive.

"No," Rose replied, climbing out of the car, "Pete had sold that one even before Mum and I got here. Bad memories."

"Ah."

They headed to the front door of the large, elegant Tudor mansion and were greeted by Jackie, who ushered them both in with hugs that caught the Doctor by surprise.

"Hi Mum," Rose said, and crouched down, "Hi Tony."

A small blond head peeped out from behind Jackie's leg, staring up at the Doctor with wide brown eyes.

"Hello Tony, pleased to meet you. I'm the Doctor."

The head was abruptly withdrawn, and Rose stage whispered to him, "He's shy."

Jackie sighed in exasperation and fished the toddler out, "Now Tony, be polite to our guest. Say hello to the Doctor and give your sister a kiss."

Tony fled behind Rose instead.

"Oh, honestly!" Jackie muttered, "You were never like this Rose, I had the devil of a time getting you to stop speaking to strangers. And a fat lot of good that did anyway."

She directed a pointed look at the Doctor, as Rose rolled her eyes, swinging Tony up and onto her hip.

"Tony, this is the Doctor. I told you about him, remember?"

The brown eyes fixed on him for a few seconds, and then he turned and mumbled something into Rose's shoulder.

"He says hello." Rose said. the Doctor nodded.

"Tell him I say hello back."

Jackie held her arms out, "Your dad's upstairs in the study on the phone with Chris and he asked for you to go up when you got here, Chris needs to speak to you too. Give him over."

Rose passed her brother to Jackie, "Will this take long?"

"No idea. Go on, I'll entertain the Doctor until you're done."

Rose looked at him, "I'll be fine, Rose," he reassured her, although he wasn't exactly thrilled about being left alone with her mother. That had a tendency to not go well.

"Come on Doctor, I'll make you a cuppa."

The Doctor followed Jackie across the marble floor of the foyer as Rose went up the stairs. The kitchen was as elegant as the exterior of the house, all stainless steel appliances and black granite countertops. But Tony's scribbled masterpieces tacked to the fridge and the green plants lined up in the windowsill kept it from looking cold.

"Torchwood business. Chris is second there to Pete," Jackie explained, setting Tony down on the floor and picking up the kettle. The Doctor sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar.

"You look very nice," she said, turning to face him, "Much better then the naff blue suit."

The Doctor looked down at the new jeans and dark grey jumper he wore. It felt strange to be wearing jeans again, but without a sonic washing machine anymore, it was more practical then his suit for everyday.

"Thank you." he said, ignoring the insult. Jackie didn't look very different from what he remembered, still wearing too much makeup and dressing much too young. It might be designer labels now instead of knockoffs and real diamonds instead of paste, but money couldn't buy taste. Of course, remembering some of his sartorial choices over the years, taste was overrated. Tacky tracksuits and animal prints aside, Jackie Tyler was one of the strongest women he knew.

When the tea was ready she passed him a mug and a plate of Christmas biscuits, plucking one off and handing it down to Tony who started munching away happily.

"Jackie, how has Rose been?" the Doctor asked, cradling the tea between his hands. She moved over to sit on the stool next to him.

"Well, it's been hard on her. The first couple of months she was all on edge, barely slept, was waiting for you to show up. Then you got that message through and she knew you couldn't find a way to come get her, and it wasn't good. For a long while, it just wasn't good."

The Doctor nodded, remembering his own despair after saying goodbye to Rose. The things he had done in his fury, the pain he had caused. It hadn't been good for him either.

"I wanted her to forget you," Jackie continued, "Well, not forget, I knew that was impossible, but I wanted her to move on and have a life here. And she did, in some ways, but a big piece of her was just missing. I hated you for that, Doctor."

She said it matter of fact, not with malice, but he winced anyway, "I'm sorry."

"Least when she was with you before I knew she was happy, even though I had to do without her at home. You made her happy."

"She made me happy, too." he said, very softly.

Jackie reached over and squeezed his hand, "Thank you Doctor."

"For what?"

"For staying here with her and not taking her away again."

"Yes, well, not much I could do about that. No TARDIS, remember?"

He felt bitterness wash over him as he felt very keenly the loss of his old ship, his old life. Not his anymore, it belonged to the other one, the one who had broken Rose's heart with his rejection and tossed her a pale imitation of himself as compensation.

_"He's too dangerous to be left on his own."_ Self-righteous prat.

Jackie shook her head, "Maybe not, but that didn't mean you had to stay."

"Yes I did, Jackie."

"You love her."

It was a statement, not a question. The Doctor turned his head to face Jackie, surprised by the soft smile on her face.

"Yes," he said, simply.

"I knew. I knew with Big Ears, I knew with you. Bleedin' obvious, for all your "I'm a mysterious alien" nonsense."

So obvious that even a Dalek had been able to tell. Jackie Tyler's sharp eyes would have hardly missed it.

"Will she love me again, Jackie?" he asked, hating the pleading note that had entered his voice.

"Doctor, she never stopped."

"That wasn't me though. Or it was, but Rose doesn't see it that way. What do I have to offer her now?" he asked, the question that had been on his mind ever since the beach. He had nothing in this world and Rose had everything. What could she possibly see in him now?

Jackie reached up and patted his cheek, "Daft man. Yourself, of course. Look at everything I've got here, the money, the house, don't have to lift a finger if I don't want to, but it's not the reason I stay. It's because of Pete. We could be back on the estate and it wouldn't matter because we'd have each other. He's a good man, and so are you."

"Time Lord!" a small voice piped in.

The Doctor and Jackie both peered down at where Tony sat on the floor, biscuit crumbs smeared all over his face.

"What's that, sweetheart?" Jackie asked.

"Rose's Doctor!" Tony said, pointing, "He's the Time Lord and he travels in the magic blue box! Can I see it?"

The Doctor felt his stomach clench into a knot, "No Tony, I don't have the magic blue box and I'm not a Time Lord anymore, I'm just a man."

Jackie picked the little boy up and wiped his face, "He's still the Doctor though. Tony, say hello properly now, please."

"Hello."

"Hello, Tony."

Jackie shook her head, "That's amazing. Usually it takes ages for him to warm up to strangers."

Tony smiled at him, a toothy little three year old grin. Despite himself the Doctor found himself smiling back.

"Jacks?" they heard Pete yell.

"Kitchen, love!" Jackie called back, depositing Tony back on the floor and putting the tea mugs in the dishwasher.

"Jackie, does all this really not matter?" the Doctor asked, sweeping his arm out over her posh new life.

"Now, I'm not saying it's not nice to have, but no, Doctor, this is not what matters. Pete, Rose, Tony, they're what matters. And you now, too."

To his utter shock, the Doctor felt himself blush. One more human reaction he had no control over now, it seemed.

Pete and Rose entered the kitchen and Tony ran squealing to his father, arms up in the air. Pete swooped him up.

"There's my lad. Have you been a good boy for Mummy?"

"He actually said hello to the Doctor, if you can believe it," Jackie said, "Everything steady at Torchwood?"

It was Rose who answered, "They need me to come in and give a more detailed report of everything that just happened," she said, moving over to lean against the counter next to the Doctor. She picked up one of the Christmas biscuits and popped it in her mouth.

"Not that they'll understand half of it," Pete put in, "I don't understand half of it."

Rose shrugged, "We saved the universe, that's the important part."

"When will you have to go?" the Doctor asked, "To Torchwood?"

"Tomorrow," Rose said, facing him, "Best get it over with and then I won't have to work until after the holidays, barring any alien catastrophes. So try not to cause any, okay?"

The Doctor snorted, refraining from pointing out that he was no longer an alien, "I'll do my best. Wait, hang on, when did I cause a catastrophe?"

"You want an alphabetical list or in chronological order?"

"Oi!"

Rose laughed, "I'm only joking, Doctor. Well, mostly. So Mum, dinner?"

Jackie opened the door to the oven and peered at whatever was cooking inside, "About 20 more minutes," she said, and with her back still turned to them warned, "Pete, don't give Tony any more sweets, he's had enough."

Pete's hand froze over the plate of biscuits and Tony's little face fell.

"How did she do that?" the Doctor whispered to Rose.

"It's a mum thing," Rose said, "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour before we eat."

They wandered the house hand in hand, the Doctor only half listening as Rose talked. He thought about what Jackie said about her family being the only thing that mattered. He'd been more then a little surprised when she had included him on that list, too. Family had become such an abstract concept to him, something other people had, but he had never expected to find again. Not after watching his planet and his people burn.

"You're very quiet tonight."

The Doctor looked at Rose, pulling away from his maudlin thoughts, "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. Something on your mind?"

"Mmm," he said, non-committal. He wasn't quite sure if he could articulate what he was thinking about to Rose.

They were standing in the family room, clearly the place where the Tylers spent much of their time. A Christmas tree stood in the corner, gaily decorated with multicoloured balls and twinkling lights. Tony's toys were scattered across the floor and the furniture had a comfortable lived-in look that had been missing from the home Pete had shared with the other Jackie. He saw another copy of the photo Rose had on her wall, the one of her parents in wedding attire, and he picked it up.

"They did that about six months after Tony was born, once Mum lost most of the baby weight. Told everyone it was a vow renewal for their 25th anniversary. But they really wanted to mark the start of their own life together, I think."

Rose leaned against him, her head on his shoulder.

"They seem happy," the Doctor said, putting the picture back on the shelf.

"They are. Had some ups and downs over the years, but now it seems like they were never apart."

Pete popped his head into the room, "Dinner's ready."

They ate in the dining room, Pete and Jackie with Tony between them on one side of the table and Rose next to him on the other. The Doctor took a few bites of his lasagna, watching as Jackie and Pete took turns helping Tony with his food.

"So Pete," he said, putting his fork down, "Rose said you could help set up an identity for me?"

Pete nodded, "It'll take a few days. Do you have any preferences for your birthplace or birthday?"

"No, whatever's easiest is fine. Just the name," he could feel Rose's gaze on him and was almost tempted to tease her again, but decided to refrain, "Foreman. Luke Foreman."

"Any middle name?"

The Doctor thought for a moment, then smiled, "Donald."

"Luke Donald Foreman," Jackie repeated, "Well that's one thing settled."

"Doctor, have you given any thought to what you'd like to do? I know you probably don't have any great love for Torchwood, but you could write your own ticket there. No one's got anything close to your experience. Rose has been invaluable there, think of what you could do," Pete said.

The Doctor looked over at Rose. The thought had occurred to him. He'd need to do something in this world and not live on the Tyler's charity, but he wasn't quite sure if he could work for Torchwood. UNIT maybe, if there was a UNIT here.

"He'll think about it," Rose said to Pete, and the Doctor nodded in agreement, "Yes, I'll think about it."

"Oh, Rose honey, are you still coming to the Vitex party? It's this Friday," Jackie asked.

Rose pulled a face, "I'd forgotten all about that. It's the annual Christmas party," she explained to him, "Big posh shindig every year."

"I thought you worked for Torchwood?" the Doctor asked, confused.

"I do, but I'm on the Vitex board of directors as well."

"Rose, you skipped last year's party, you can't bail on it again!" Jackie protested.

"Fine, I'll go," Rose told her mother, then she looked at the Doctor again, "That is, if you'll be my date?"

"Your date?"

Rose ducked her head, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks, "My date. My plus one."

He was grinning ridiculously at her, he knew, "Rose Tyler, I would be delighted to be your date." A date. She was asking him on a date. He was tempted to jump up and do a little jig. He felt Rose nudge her foot against his. No, not a little jig, a big one. With musical accompaniment.

"Excellent!" Jackie broke in, "Everyone done then?" she asked, standing up and gathering the dishes together.

They left not long after dinner, Jackie and Pete and a half-asleep Tony seeing them off. Jackie gave him another fierce hug while Rose was bidding Tony goodbye, whispering in the Doctor's ear, "You're doing fine."

As Rose headed down the driveway in front of him, the Doctor turned and saw them standing backlit in the door, Pete, with Tony on his hip and his arm around Jackie, watching him and Rose leave. Jackie waved.

_"Like they were never apart." _Rose had said. A second chance at a first love, and he was glad to see that Pete and Jackie had made the most of it. Whether he and Rose could do the same, well, only time would tell.

In the back of the car he put his arm around her and she snuggled into his side.

"Can I ask about the name?"

"I'll tell you when we get back to your place," he said, not wanting to talk about it in front of the driver, "But Rose, you'll still call me Doctor, won't you?" he asked, feeling hesitant, _"I'm still the Doctor, Rose. Please tell me you still think so." _he thought.

She turned her head to look up at him. Her fingers crept up and she touched his cheek, and his eyes closed at the contact.

"You'll always be my Doctor."

_"Forever."_

He heard the word she spoke once, a long time ago, the promise that she had fought so hard to keep. The lights of London flashed past the Mercedes's tinted windows in a blur. She might be Rose Tyler, Vitex heiress now, with the world at her fingertips, but she was still his Rose, the brilliant girl who'd taken his hand and saved his life. Jackie was right, he decided. It was the only thing that mattered.

Back in the flat, they sat down together on the sofa and he prepared himself to talk about something he had not mentioned to anyone in a very long time.

"Luke Donald Foreman?" Rose asked.

He took a deep breath, "The first person I ever travelled with, before you, before Sarah Jane and everyone else, was someone very special. She was my granddaughter, and she wanted to see the universe. And I had never done anything out of the ordinary in my whole life until then, but for her, I would. So I stole the TARDIS and we took off together. Wound up on Earth, and she wanted to live as the humans did, and go to school with them, and for that she needed a human name. So she picked one. Susan. Susan Foreman."

Rose was looking at him with wide eyes. The Doctor continued on, "She went by Susan from then on, even when we weren't on Earth. I thought that eventually we'd return home and go back to the normal Time Lord life of standing around watching the universe expand, until the day she fell in love. With a human. It was completely unheard of and I couldn't believe it at first. In love with a human! Baffling! Incomprehensible! It just wasn't done! Could have knocked me over with a feather. A very, very tiny feather from some type of undersized, pygmy species of bird."

"So you were surprised," Rose interrupted dryly.

"Quite. Anyway, Susan was going to stay with me and leave David, that was his name, David, behind, but I realized I couldn't let her do it. He was her future, I could see it, even if I didn't understand it. So I left instead. Saw her a few times over the years. She and David adopted three children. My Susan, living an ordinary human life. And I still didn't understand it. But she was happy, and I could understand that."

"Your granddaughter," Rose looked down at her hands, twisting her fingers together, "I forget sometimes, how old you really are, Doctor. I would have liked to meet Susan."

"She would have liked you. And she would have had a good laugh at my expense, hopelessly in love with a human," the Doctor smiled, "I suppose she took after me more then I thought."

"And Luke?" Rose asked.

"Well, the biblical Luke is the patron saint of physicians."

"Biblical?" Rose repeated, "That's a surprise, you're not a Christian."

"No," the Doctor agreed, "But I appreciate the Bible as a work of literature, and as something that has great meaning to many people. Almost every language in the universe has a word that means "Doctor", whenever I introduced myself people would always know what it meant, that I was someone who wanted to help. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," Rose said, "I always wondered why you just called yourself "The Doctor", but it did suit you."

"And Donald," the Doctor started, but Rose stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"That's for Donna, yeah?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't be here, if it wasn't for Donna."

Rose propped her chin in her hand and looked thoughtful, "None of us would. Donna saved everything, in the end. I had my doubts about her at first. I tracked her through a universe where she had never met you, and she was so abrasive and shouty, I wasn't sure if I could get through to her and make her believe. But she came through in the end, and she was so brilliant, and so brave. So very brave."

He felt his chest tighten listening to Rose talk about Donna. His best mate, who deserved so much more then what she got.

"Yeah," he agreed, "She was all that. Abrasive. Shouty. And brilliant. She never did realize how brilliant she was."

"Will you tell me about them?" Rose asked, sounding shy, "Donna, and Susan. Where did you go together? What did you see?"

They wound up curled on the sofa together, Rose's head on his chest, as he told her stories about Donna and Susan. Talking about them, remembering them, wasn't nearly as painful as he would have thought. It felt good to share the memories with Rose.

He was telling her about Agatha Christie and giant wasps when he felt her fingers in his hair, rubbing his scalp lightly. The Doctor froze, feeling goosebumps rise up all over his body at the simple contact. He chanced a peek at Rose and wasn't quite sure what to make of the look on her face. Before he had been quite good at figuring out what she was thinking just from her expression, but he seemed to have lost the knack.

Her fingers moved from his scalp to his face, sweeping across his forehead and trailing down his cheek. Her touch was gentle and soft and he craved it so very, very much. She ghosted across his lips, and he didn't need to see the future to know what was going to happen next. Rose's eyes swept closed and she leaned forward, her body stretching out next to his as she kissed him. His lips parted against hers and their tongues met.

Rose slid her hand under the hem of his jumper and T-shirt, resting it against the bare skin on his side. The Doctor pressed against her as they kissed, rolling slightly so that he wound up half on top of her. Rose wrapped her leg around his and he couldn't stifle a groan. He felt her smile against his mouth in response, and then she kissed him harder, tongue going deeper, hand pressed against his back. Hormones flooded through him, made his heartbeat accelerate to an alarming rate. Before, he could have stopped it, reversed it, but now he was swept away in the wave of desire. Time and tide waited for no man, he knew, he had only the here and now and he was going to make the most of it.

He cradled the back of her head in his hand, breaking from her mouth and trailing kisses across her cheek and down her neck. The Doctor could hear Rose gasp for air as he sucked on her collarbone. Her fingers dug into his back and she whispered his name.

_"Doctor."_

He looked up into her face, into the beautiful eyes that had haunted his memory and his dreams for so long. He touched her face the way she had touched his, feather-light across her cheeks and lips.

"I love you," he said.

Rose crushed her lips to his, arms going tight around him. He kissed her back, eyes slamming shut as he lost himself in her mouth. He groped blindly, skimming across her soft curves and finding her breasts. He wanted to touch every part of her, he wanted _her_.

She pulled back. His heart sank.

"Rose?"

Head tilted down so that she wasn't meeting his eyes, Rose pulled her hand out from under his clothes and unwrapped her leg from his. The Doctor sat up on the sofa, making himself move away from her.

"I'm not quite ready for this," she said, sounding breathless, "I'm sorry."

The Doctor shook his head, "Don't be. I'm sorry for rushing you."

"We were together for so long not doing," she swirled her hand between them, "all this, I can't jump into it all at once."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"No, don't be sorry, just, be a little patient, yeah? We've got time."

Part of him wanted to tell Rose that they didn't have time, they had only a scant 60 years or so left to them and he didn't want to waste a minute of it. But he didn't want to have to talk her into loving him.

"All the time you need, Rose."

She met his gaze then, face flushed, hair tousled from his fingers, lips swollen from his kisses, "Thank you, Doctor."

They went to their separate rooms. The Doctor changed into the pyjama bottoms, not bothering with the top. He was feeling a little too warm for it. He sat on the edge of the futon, breathing deeply until his heart rate had gone back to normal and the physical evidence of his desire had died down. Rose needed time, he could do that for her. He tried not to think about the fact that he'd told her he loved her three times and she hadn't said it back yet.

He headed for the loo to brush his teeth, but the door was shut and the light was on. He leaned against the wall, listening to the water run. After a few minutes it shut off and the door opened. Rose stood in front of him, dressed in a lace-trimmed camisole top and matching sleep shorts. He couldn't stop himself from looking up and down her body, and a deep blush spread across her chest. When he looked at her face he saw that her eyes were glued to his bare chest.

The Doctor couldn't resist, "See something you like?" he asked her in what he hoped was a very deep and manly voice.

She cocked an eyebrow at him, "Me? You're the one who's drooling, Doctor."

He wiped his mouth automatically and Rose whooped with laughter, collapsing against the doorframe. Not quite the reaction he was hoping for, but it was good to hear her laugh.

Still chuckling, Rose stepped over to him and reached up to ruffle his hair, "I like it very much, you know. Always did."

He dipped his head and kissed her, gently this time, resisting the urge to pull her body against his. She returned the kiss but made no move either to take it further.

"Goodnight Doctor," she said when they broke apart.

"Goodnight Rose," he replied, and as she opened the door to her bedroom he called after her, "I'm right across the hall if you need anything in the middle of the night. Anything at all."

"Goodnight Doctor," she repeated firmly, and then in a quiet whisper he almost missed, "I might take you up on that."

He discovered it was very difficult to brush one's teeth while one was grinning like an insane chimpanzee.


	5. Signs of the Season

Rose sat in her spacious office at Torchwood, staring at the blank document on her computer screen. She needed to write her report and she had no idea where to start. Her mind kept flitting to the Doctor, the first one, the one still out there in his TARDIS, the man that she knew deep down she would never see again.

She wondered what he was doing. Was he off on another adventure already? Or was he holed up in the Time Vortex? Was Donna still with him, or was he alone? Rose had her suspicions about Donna, her timeline was the strangest one the Dimension Cannon had mapped. It had twisted with the line that belonged to the Doctor, and then everything had converged on it. Donna's line had split in two, Rose hadn't understood it at the time, but she knew now that the split was the creation of the new Doctor. His line had been fine, but Donna's had fractured completely and reformed, no longer touching either Doctor's lines.

And there was the way the Doctor had spoken about her in the past tense the previous night. Rose knew he was keeping something from her, but she had not pried. She didn't think she wanted to know for sure.

It hurt to think about the first Doctor. It hurt a lot. Davros's taunts had hit him hard and she could see he had taken some of them to heart. She wanted nothing more then to take him by the shoulders and tell him that it wasn't true, that he hadn't twisted and warped his friends into weapons, that he made them better! He had said it to her, but it was doubly true for him. Rose had seen him do it countless times on countless worlds, the Doctor made people better. Did he see it, though? Was that why he had left her?

She began to type, making the words as dry and unemotional as possible. Working with UNIT. Tracking Donna, trying to determine why she was so important. The Dalek invasion. Finding the Doctor, defeating Davros, darkness stopped, Earth towed back home, everyone lived, the end. Rose did not include the details of the aborted regeneration, the real showdown on the Crucible or what happened on Bad Wolf Bay.

When the report was done she stood up from her desk and twisted around, stretching out her back. She had managed not to cry while she was writing down the events, but the effort of holding it back had left her with a headache. Rose went to the window and leaned her forehead against the cool glass. She looked down at the street below without really seeing it, her mind occupied with two men, one who had left, one who had stayed.

Explaining the second Doctor had been the hardest part of her report. No one at Torchwood was equipped to understand a Time Lord-human biological metacrisis. "Clone" had seemed inadequate and dismissive and she had a feeling he'd be supremely hurt if he ever found out she'd described him as one. In the end she glossed over as much as she could and hoped no one would ask any probing questions.

Her thoughts turned to him, wondering what he was up to. They had not said much to each other that morning, the closeness they had experienced the night before not gone, exactly, but she had been very overwhelmed by it and needed to take a step back. The Doctor had told her things about himself she had never expected to hear from him and coupled with what they had done together physically it was a lot to take in at once.

She had woken up in the middle of the night and, unable to get back to sleep, had padded to the loo for a drink of water. The Doctor had left the door to her office open, not a big surprise after his winking innuendo, and she had stood on the threshold watching him sleep for several minutes. He had been lying on his side, blankets half kicked off, hair sticking up at all angles. Rose had been sorely tempted to slip into the futon with him, curling up against his long body and letting his warmth wash over her. But she had held back, knowing that if she had joined him she would be unable to resist getting more intimate then she was really ready for yet.

Rose had left him with some money and a key to her flat in case he wanted to go out, or there was telly and her computer to keep him entertained if he stayed in. Well, somewhat entertained. He had been thumbing through her London A-Z guide when she left, so she thought he would be going out and doing some exploring while she was gone. She had made a crack about wandering off and he had smiled and reminded her that he was unlikely to find himself in the middle of an air raid.

There was a knock on her door, and Rose pulled herself away from the window and sat back behind her desk, calling, "Come in!"

"Rose!"

"Jake!"

She sprang up and crossed the room in two strides, throwing her arms around him. He hugged her back, hard.

"So it's true then. You're still here."

"Yeah," Rose said, a bit shakily.

"Rose, what the hell happened? I heard that you stopped the darkness, but no one seems to know how, you're still here, Mickey's not, but I heard a tall skinny bloke in a suit came back with you, and if he is who I think he is, why is he here too?"

Rose pressed her hand against her forehead, "It's...complicated. Really, really complicated."

Jake looked at her with sympathy, "Come on, I'll buy you a coffee and you can tell me about it."

She nodded, walking back around her desk, "One minute," she said, clicking back on the report. Rose looked at it, sighed, and emailed it off, hoping she'd never have to see it again. She locked her computer and grabbed her jacket, "Let's go."

The wind was brisk and Rose's hair whipped around her face as she and Jake left the building and headed for a cafe a few blocks away. There were closer places, but she didn't want to risk running into any of their coworkers. There were a few people at Torchwood who knew the truth about her to varying degrees, but Jake was the only one besides Pete who had the full story. He frequently joked that he was going to sell her out to the tabloids and make a fortune.

By the time they arrived at the cafe both were red-cheeked from the cold. Rose sat down in a quiet corner, blowing on her hands while Jake ordered for them both.

"Thanks," she said as he handed her a steaming latte.

"Okay Rose, spill."

Jake sat down in the overstuffed chair opposite her, and in a quiet voice Rose told him what had happened. When she finished he looked stunned.

"Blimey...you've told me some nutty things in the past Rose, but that's bloody unbelievable."

"Tell me about it," she muttered.

"So Mickey did stay then. I'm not surprised, with his gran gone and breaking up with Val I knew he was at loose ends the last few months."

"I'll never see him again. I knew him my whole life and I'll never see him again," Rose said, staring down into her drink, "Didn't even say goodbye properly. I didn't know I was coming back here and I lost my chance."

Rose felt a new surge of anger at the Doctor who left, his blindside had robbed her of the farewells she should have had with Mickey and Jack. They had been her friends, and she didn't get to say goodbye.

"Well that just sucks. Damn Rose, I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

Jake leaned forward, "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Stay at Torchwood I guess, I'm not exactly qualified for anything else, am I?" Rose frowned.

"Well you could always live off your dad."

"Yeah," Rose chuckled, "Be a proper heiress, go to charity balls and have photo spreads in Hello. That's exactly who I am."

"Not quite as much fun as chasing after aliens."

Rose drank the last remaining dregs of her drink, "We should get back."

They left the cafe and started walking in the direction of Torchwood. It had started to rain, and they huddled together under Jake's umbrella. The grey drizzle matched Rose's mood.

As they stood across the street from the building waiting for the traffic light to change, Jake said to her in a low voice.

"What about this new Doctor? He stayed here to be with you, yeah? Is that what you want, Rose?"

She looked down, scuffing the toe of her boot in a growing puddle, "Part of me wants him to go away so I can forget that any of this ever happened," she admitted, "But a big part is terrified that he's going to realize I wasn't worth it and he'll leave me. What the hell do I have to offer him, Jake? I'm just an ordinary human, and he's the Doctor!"

It was the thought that had kept her awake last night. How could the life she could give him compare to what he had before? How could it ever be enough?

The light changed but Rose stood frozen on the sidewalk. Jake turned, holding the umbrella with one hand and gripping her arm with the other, "Rose, you are absolutely brilliant and any man, alien, human, whatever, would be so lucky to have you. And if the Doctor doesn't think so, well, then he's a big alien wanker."

That got a laugh out of her, "Thanks Jake."

He pulled her into a hug, "Can't have one of my best mates not know how amazing she is. And if you need me to knock any sense into that Doctor of yours, just let me know. It'll be your Christmas present."

The light changed again and they crossed the street, shaking the rain off as they entered the Torchwood building. When the elevator stopped on Jake's floor he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before stepping off, "It'll work out, Rose."

"I hope so," she said, smiling at him as the doors closed. She went up two floors and back down the hall to her office, plopping down at her desk again. There were a scary amount of unread emails in her inbox, and Rose scrolled through them, firing off replies to the ones that seemed urgent. She hoped it would be enough to keep her coworkers off her back. She'd been working nearly round the clock for weeks and once this day was done she had no intention of coming anywhere near work until after the New Year, if that indeed was what she was going to do. She'd always viewed Torchwood as a means to an end, but the end had come and gone and she was still here. All the scenarios she had run through the Dimension Cannon had never resulted in _this._

When she was finished with her emails and voicemails and paperwork, it was nearly six o'clock. Saving the universe had resulted in a truly staggering amount of red tape. Jake had popped into her office again before he left for the day, reminding her again that he'd happily kick the Doctor's arse if he didn't treat her right. Rose had smiled and sent him on his way, promising to ring him on Christmas. Jake had become a good friend over the years, they'd been partners in the field many times and she trusted him to watch her back.

Rose took the Tube back to her flat, bundled up in her jacket and scarf with her hands jammed in the pockets. She was sitting opposite an insipid Christmas advert, a young couple with identical blindingly white grins and matching knitted hats. If she had a marker she'd give them Hitler moustaches and blackened teeth.

She sighed, feeling some of her bad mood dissipate. She didn't know why she was feeling so bitchy all of a sudden.

_"Could it have to do with the fact that the Doctor was ready, willing and able last night and you pushed him away?" _a little voice in the back of her head asked.

Well, there was that. But it had been so much to take in all at once. Before when they had been travelling together it had been like pulling teeth to get him to talk about anything personal. Oh he could babble on about the history and future of every planet, star, or black hole they found themselves in, but the information she was most interested in, the information about him, had been doled out in tiny drips. _"I was a dad once."_ and then he'd clam up again leaving her even more confused.

But the night before he'd opened up and shared with her things she had never expected. And she hadn't been able to resist touching him, kissing him, watching those warm brown eyes fill with desire for her. She'd dreamed about kissing him for years, since before they got separated, before he regenerated even, but had always held back. She'd told herself that the hand-holding and the hugging and the soft smile that he only bestowed on her were enough. Then she'd been ripped away from him, and had cursed herself for her restraint.

There was nothing to restrain her now. He was here and he'd made his intentions towards her very clear. And it scared her to death. He'd loomed in her memory larger then life for so long, how could she look at him as an ordinary man? A man who went shopping with her, ate dinner with her parents, agreed to be her date to a boring work party. A man who had held her while she cried, had told her he loved her, a man who kissed her until she could see stars again. No, he wasn't ordinary. Human now, maybe, but never ordinary.

Rose got off at her stop and walked towards her flat, grateful the rain had stopped. She passed the gaily decorated houses with their wreaths and lights and Christmas trees visible through the windows. It occurred to her that she'd have to go shopping for presents, she had nothing to give her mum, Pete or Tony. And then there was the Doctor. They'd never really exchanged presents before. Oh he'd given her the odd trinket he'd picked up in an alien marketplace, but they had never formally bought anything, wrapped it, and handed it over as part of a pre-determined ritual. But what the hell was she supposed to get the nine-hundred year slash three day old half-alien, half-human love of her life for Christmas? Somehow she didn't think there was a cheery advert for that situation.

She could see the lights on in her flat from the street and hurried inside, eager to see the Doctor.

"That you, Rose?" he called when she opened the door.

"It's me," she replied, dumping her keys and bag on the small table in the hall.

She stepped into the lounge and stopped dead in her tracks. There was a Christmas tree set up in the corner, decorated with an assortment of different coloured balls and silver icicles. The Doctor sat cross-legged in the middle of the floor, wrestling with a string of lights.

"How do these ruddy things get so tangled right out of the box?" he asked, sweeping them off his lap and standing up, "Rose! Welcome home."

"What's all this?"

He grinned at her, "Christmas decorations! I met a man on the street selling trees, named Gerald, the man that is, not the trees, nice chap, and when I told him we didn't have anything to put on the tree, he directed me to a little shop where everything cost a pound! That's where I got the ornaments, box of six for a quid, can you believe it? Granted, they're not exactly hand crafted heirlooms, but I think they look nice. Got everything set up and realized I forgot about lights so I went to a hardware store and got those," he pointed at the box on the floor, "Which were clearly designed by a contemporary of your brother."

Rose felt her heart melt a little, looking at the tree he had bought and decorated for them. He had managed to make her flat look like a hurricane hit it in the process, pine needles and empty boxes were scattered across her carpet, but it didn't matter. The Doctor stood in the middle of the mess, surveying his work with his hands on his hips and a satisfied smirk and she felt the last of her bad mood completely lift.

"What do you think?" he asked.

She laughed and bounded across the room to him, throwing herself into his arms. The Doctor caught her, lifting her up so that her feet dangled above the floor.

"I think it's wonderful," Rose said when he had put her back down, "Thank you, Doctor."

He shrugged, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, "Just didn't seem very festive in here."

"No, it wasn't," Rose agreed, "Much better now," she said, and she didn't just mean the decor.

He smiled at her, dropping back down on the floor and picking the lights up again, "Just wait until I get these straightened out and you get the full effect, Rose Tyler!"

"I can hardly wait," she said, heading for the kitchen, "Are you hungry? We'll probably have to do takeaway again, unless you bought groceries too."

"Uh, Rose?"

Rose walked into the kitchen and stopped dead again, feeling her eyebrows raise up as she surveyed the damage.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Rose?" he said, sounding sheepish.

"What on Earth did you do to the toaster? And why?"

"Glaciers could cross Europe in the time it takes that thing to heat up! How do you manage to get anything done at all when you clearly spend ninety five percent of your time waiting for toast? I took it apart to fix it."

"You're exaggerating just a bit," Rose said, turning away from the scattered pieces of what had been her toaster, "And why is it still apart and not, you know, back together?"

She went back into the lounge and fixed the Doctor with a mock glare.

"Well, I took it apart with a butter knife but couldn't find anything to fix it with. That's why I went out, to get some tools, but then I met Gerald,"

"And got distracted by the Christmas trees," Rose finished.

"No! Well, okay, maybe a little. I did get the tools at the hardware store, but I wanted to finish the lights first before you got home. Which I would have done, if an actual electrician had been consulted at some point by the manufacturer. I'm going to write them a very strongly worded letter."

"I'm sure they're trembling in their shoes at the thought," Rose said, looking down at him. The Doctor gave her his most winning smile, the one he trotted out whenever he did something stupid that had never failed to soften her anger. It still worked, but she wasn't really angry at him anyway.

"I'll fix it," he promised.

"I'm sure you will. Now, since having toast for supper is no longer an option thanks to you, how about pizza?"

The Doctor nodded, concentrating on untangling the last of the lights. Rose phoned for the pizza, then she went into her bedroom to change out of her work clothes. She threw on a comfy pair of jeans and a long-sleeved purple T-shirt. Back in the lounge she helped the Doctor string lights on the tree and the around the curtain rod above the large window that overlooked the street. She couldn't help sneaking glances at the bare skin revealed when his white T-shirt rode up as he reached above his head with the lights. What was it about a man in a white T-shirt and jeans that was so shockingly sexy?

The pizza arrived and Rose set plates on the coffee table. The Doctor picked up the TV remote and turned it on while she dished out the food.

_"And now back to the Dancing on Ice Christmas Special, only on ITV!"_

A former boy-bander and a Canadian figure skater took to the ice to the strains of Jingle Bell Rock. The Doctor gestured towards the telly with his slice of pizza.

"I'm fairly certain that fitting that many sequins on one piece of clothing should be physically impossible."

Rose shuddered, "Change it, please."

He flicked past a news channel, a cookery programme, and an Australian cricket match.

_"Coming up on BBC Two, the classic 1951 holiday film Scrooge, starring Alistair Sim."_

The Doctor smiled, "Brilliant! You know, I've seen almost all of the four hundred eighty one thousand three hundred and five adaptations of _A Christmas Carol,_ but this is the best one. Well, this and the Muppet version. Although, the Judoon did quite an interesting take on it as well a few years ago. Remember Cardiff and Charles Dickens, Rose?"

"Yes, and I remember watching this as a child and hiding under my bed afterwards. I wanted Rudolph and Snoopy, not a creepy black and white ghost story. I don't think I ever watched it again."

He turned to look at her in astonishment, "Rose Tyler! This is a _classic_! You really have to give it a second chance. But if you still find it too scary and want to hide under the bed after, I'd be more then happy to climb under there with you and keep the ghosts away."

Rose rolled her eyes, "I don't think a film is going to have quite the same impact on me as it did when I was seven. But I'll keep your offer in mind."

When they had finished eating they automatically shifted closer together on the sofa. Rose pulled her legs up and curled them under her, leaning against the Doctor's side. He put his arm on the sofa back behind her and she felt him run his fingers through her hair absent-mindedly.

When the Ghost of Christmas Past revealed the two children who represented Ignorance and Want, Rose grimaced.

"Oh yeah, the creepy children. This is really Christmasy."

"Want to go hide under the bed?" the Doctor whispered, his breath warm in her ear.

She didn't answer, but took his hand and threaded his fingers with hers.

When the narrator repeated Tiny Tim's famous "_God bless us, everyone." _and the film ended, Rose took up the remote and turned the telly off. The white lights they had strung up together bathed the room in a soft glow and she smiled.

"Not so scary anymore?" the Doctor asked.

"No. It really is a beautiful film."

He was rubbing small circles into the back of her hand. Rose leaned back and the Doctor's arms went around her, hugging her from behind. She felt him press a soft kiss on her temple.

"I don't want to rush you, Rose," he said softly, "But it's hard to keep myself from touching you."

"I don't mind this," she replied, "I'm not quite ready for everything yet, but hugging and kissing is fine."

"Only fine?"

She turned in his arms, "When you kiss me I forget how to breathe."

The Doctor looked shocked, "Is that a good thing?"

"Oh yes," she whispered.

She pushed him back against the sofa, moving into his lap and peppering his face with kisses, his forehead, his cheek, the tip of his nose. The Doctor grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer and trying to kiss her mouth. Rose resisted, catching his earlobe with her teeth and moving her lips down the long column of his throat. She could feel his heartbeat thundering against her hand and his hardness pressing into her. She ground down into him and felt him shudder.

Rose pulled back and looked at him. His mouth was hanging open and his eyes were closed.

"Doctor?"

He opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Breathe."

His chest heaved as he sucked in a lungful of air.

"_Oh!_ I see what you mean." he said, panting a bit.

"Good thing, yeah?"

"Yeah."

She kissed him again, softer this time, and he replied in kind. They tangled together on the sofa, alternating between lighthearted touches and more breath-stealing passion. The Doctor stroked her breasts under her T-shirt, rocking against her thigh. Rose felt giddy, a bit like a teenager again, as she ran her hands up and down his back.

They wound up lying on their sides, face to face. The Doctor propped his head on one hand and looked down at her, trailing a finger up and down her arm.

"I missed you," he said.

Rose closed her eyes, "I missed you too, Doctor."

She shifted closer, pressing against him and his arm draped over her. Her head was starting to feel very heavy and he was so wonderfully warm.

"Rose? Are you falling asleep?"

"Little bit," she mumbled.

"You had a long day. Time for bed."

The Doctor pulled her to her feet and she smiled sleepily up at him, "Want to come with?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm tired, but I don't want to let you go. Stay with me."

"Anything you want, Rose."

The Doctor changed while she used the loo, washing her face and brushing her teeth. When she came out he was waiting in the hall again, dressed in the same pyjama bottoms as the night before. They brushed hands as they moved past each other, the Doctor into the loo and Rose into her bedroom, leaving the door open behind her. After a few minutes he came into the room, looking nervous. Rose was already in bed, and she flipped the blankets back and patted the mattress beside her.

He slid in next to her, shifting around. Rose reached over him to turn off the bedside lamp and then turned onto her side, pulling his arm around her. The Doctor got the hint and spooned up behind her, fingers resting lightly on her stomach, above her camisole top. Rose closed her eyes, feeling perfectly content for the first time in years.

"Goodnight," he whispered, and kissed the back of her neck.

Rose smiled, "Goodnight. I love you."

She felt him freeze against her and she patted his hand.

"Doctor? Breathe."

He did.


	6. The Mister and the Ex

The Doctor sat on the sofa, half paying attention to the news on telly while he waited for Rose to finish dressing for the Vitex party. He had been ready for the past twenty minutes, but Rose had yelled from the loo something about her hair not co-operating. He hadn't been aware that Rose's hair was a separate sentient entity, but when he said as much Rose had only muttered, "Oh for God's sake, I'll be ready when I'm ready."

His hair hadn't caused him any problems. A few quick twists of his fingers and it stood up perfectly in artfully arranged disarray. He wore the black suit Rose had ordered for him, with a white shirt and a silver tie, and he looked quite slick, if he did say so himself. Which he did, to the bathroom mirror. He was sure it was suitably impressed.

"Okay, I'm ready!" he heard Rose call. The Doctor turned off the TV and stood up, slipping on his suit jacket. He turned to face the hall and when Rose appeared his jaw nearly dropped. She wore a midnight-blue satin cocktail dress, it was sleeveless, with wide straps that dipped down into a V between her breasts. It hugged her curves and ended at the knee, her legs were clad in black stockings and she wore matching midnight blue high heels. The hair she had been complaining about was pulled back in an elegant knot, and her lips were cherry red.

"Doctor?" Rose was looking at him quizzically, pulling a black coat out of the closet.

Before she could accuse him of drooling again (which he suspected he probably was), the Doctor took the coat from her and held it open.

"Allow me."

Rose turned, slipping her arms into the sleeves. He settled the coat onto her shoulders and brushed his lips against her ear, "You look incredible tonight, Rose."

She faced him, and reached out to smooth down his tie. "So do you," she said, and her red lips curved into a smile.

When the taxi arrived he held the door open for Rose and as she climbed into the car he glanced down and saw the soles of her shoes were also bright red. He gulped. Somehow, he wasn't sure how, but somehow that flash of red was _extremely _sexy.

The party venue was in a newer building on the water. They walked into a large open room with a wall of glass that overlooked the river. The tables were all decorated in silver and ice blue, and the room was divided by a polished dance floor. A jazz trio was set up, playing soft Christmas music. Most of the guests were congregated around the two bars, and the Doctor saw several curious glances thrown their way.

"Well," Rose said, taking his arm, "Time to show off my incredibly handsome date and make all the other women jealous."

"Rose Tyler, your wish is my command."

They made the rounds, Rose introducing him to the Vitex people. He couldn't help but feel a little smug satisfaction at the admiring looks several men threw Rose. They could look all they wanted, since he would be the one going home with her at the end of the night. He felt himself get a little warm at the thought.

Pete and Jackie arrived, and they spent several minutes chatting before Pete had to move on to the employees all clamouring for a bit of face time with the big boss.

"Mum's loving this," Rose whispered to him as Jackie flashed an enormous smile on the group approaching her and her husband.

"I can tell," the Doctor replied, hearing Jackie's loud acceptance of a compliment on her dress.

"Rose?"

The voice came from behind them, and the Doctor saw Rose's smile disappear. She quickly pasted it back on and he turned to see who had spoken.

"Andrew, how lovely to see you."

A man stood behind them. He looked to be in his late twenties, and had short blond hair and blue eyes. He wasn't quite as tall as the Doctor, but had very broad shoulders and a good-looking face that made the Doctor think of Jack. He disliked the man on sight.

Rose took the Doctor's arm, "Andrew, this is Dr. Luke Foreman."

Andrew stuck out his hand and the Doctor shook it, a little reluctantly.

"I don't think we've met before. What department are you in?" Andrew asked.

"He doesn't work at Vitex. Luke is here with me," Rose replied.

Andrew eyed him up and down and the Doctor's dislike grew. He could feel discomfort radiating off Rose towards the man and fought the urge to pull her behind him.

"Oh? Like a date? How do you two know each other?"

Rose glanced at the Doctor, "We met a while back, through my job at the time. But we fell out of touch and only reconnected very recently," she said, and smiled brightly, "I was very happy that we ran into each other again."

The Doctor slid an arm around Rose's waist and smiled back at her, "Just like that we found each other. Right, Rose? Couldn't believe my luck."

Andrew looked back and forth between them. He looked like he might say something else but a man came up and clapped an arm around his shoulders.

"Andy! Come help settle this argument I'm having with Richard."

The man steered Andrew away and the Doctor saw Rose mouth, "Thank you," at him. When they were out of earshot she muttered, "Well that was nice and awkward."

Rose took his hand and tugged him in the opposite direction from where Andrew had gone. The Doctor looked over his shoulder and saw him staring back at Rose. He caught the Doctor's eye and turned away.

"Friend of yours?" the Doctor asked.

"I forgot that he would probably be here. Been a while since I've been at a Vitex event," Rose replied, looking uncomfortable, "We dated for a while. Didn't work out, obviously."

"Ah," the Doctor said. Irrational as it was, he felt a stab of jealousy. He'd never wanted her to sit at home pining away for him during their separation, of course, but that didn't mean he wanted to come face to face with the evidence that she hadn't. He had the sudden urge to ask her just how many Andrews there had been in four and a half years, but he squelched the question down. He wasn't that stupid. Besides, it didn't matter anyway. He was here now, and she was his. She'd slept in his arms the night before, and would be sleeping in them again tonight and for the rest of their lives.

The venue staff had begun the dinner service, and the Doctor pushed the thoughts of Andrew and all of Rose's other boyfriends aside. They sat down at a table with several people in the marketing department, and the Doctor made pleasant small talk throughout the meal. It was not the easiest thing to do when Rose had her shoe off and was rubbing a stockinged foot up his calf under the table the whole time, but he had always been an excellent multi-tasker.

While dessert and coffee were served Pete got up and gave a speech praising everyone for their hard work during the year. The Doctor didn't pay much attention to what was going on, but he applauded politely at the appropriate spots. When Pete was finished a DJ took the microphone and began pumping up the crowd.

"I need to nip to the loo, I'll be back," the Doctor said to Rose, standing up from the table.

"Come on Rose, dance with us," one of the women they had been sitting with said. A large group of young women were congregating on the dance floor, shimmying to the strains of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."

Rose shot him a smile and let her coworkers pull her along, "I'll be on the dance floor," she said, "Come find me!"

He smiled back and then threaded his way through the tables, heading for the washroom facilities they had passed on their way in. When he was done he went back into the room and stepped up to the bar, ordering a beer. He had passed on the alcohol before dinner, uncertain how his new human body would metabolize it and not wanting to embarrass Rose by becoming drunk. But unless he was a horrible lightweight, which he doubted, one beer would be fine.

The Doctor leaned back against the bar, sipping his beer and watching Rose on the dance floor. Her face was flushed and a few tendrils of hair had escaped from her chignon, curling against her cheeks. She smiled and laughed with the other women dancing, twirling around with her arms in the air. He was content to watch her have fun, and admire the way her blue dress clung to her body as she moved to the music. Rose was a good dancer, and he thought of how that might translate into other activities. Activities that they might be enjoying later tonight.

The beer finished, he left the empty bottle on the bar and moved to the edge of the dance floor. Rose spotted him and she pushed her way through the crowd to meet him.

"Let's dance!" she said, grabbing his hand. Rose towed him onto the floor and found a space big enough for the two of them. She smiled up into his face and he had a flash of her at nineteen, dancing with him to Big Band in trainers. He had already been in love with her then, but he had fallen a little further that night, his usual gruff exterior pierced by the simple joy of spinning Rose Tyler around in his arms.

The music was mostly pop, songs that got people up and moving with enthusiasm if not skill. Abba, Human League, 80s Madonna, the Jackson 5, Beyonce. They spun and twisted together, sometimes just the two of them, sometimes as part of bigger groups that formed for a song and broke at the end. Rose lip-synced along to the music, smiling up at him with her cherry red lips.

As the night wore on and the crowd thinned out the DJ started playing mellower stuff. Rose's arms went around the Doctor's neck and he settled his hands on her waist, holding her gently as they swayed together.

The Doctor caught sight of Andrew, standing on the edge of the dance floor watching them with a drink in his hand and his shoulders slumped. He felt Rose stiffen as they circled around and she saw him as well.

"We kind of rubbed his face in it, didn't we?" she asked, "I shouldn't have done that. He didn't deserve it."

"No?"

"No. Andy's a good person. He's nice and funny and sweet, and I tried to make it work, but he just wasn't you."

The Doctor pulled Rose tighter against him, rubbing circles into her back. He thought of Martha, brilliant, kind Martha who just hadn't been Rose, and the regret he still carried over how things had ended between them.

"I know what you mean," he said. Rose laid her head on his shoulder and they danced out the rest of the song, barely moving by the end of it, standing pressed together with eyes for no one but each other. A faster song started up, but they stayed motionless.

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Rose?"

"Let's go home."

He retrieved his suit jacket from the chair he had left it on while Rose said goodbye to some of the people who remained. They picked up their coats and he helped Rose into hers again, brushing his fingers across the back of her neck. He thought he felt her shiver at the touch.

There were taxis already waiting out front and they slid into the first one, Rose giving the driver their address.

"Enjoy the party, folks?" he asked, pulling out into traffic.

"Yes, it was lovely," Rose replied, sinking back into the Doctor's arms. She placed a hand on his thigh, stroking softly and he felt himself burn at her touch. The drive back to the flat seemed to take twice as long. He almost sighed with relief when they turned onto Rose's street.

The Doctor exited the car first while Rose paid the fare.

"Thank you," the driver said at the large tip Rose gave him, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," they both repeated. The Doctor took Rose's hand to help her out of the taxi and shut the door. The car left, and they picked their way up the steps, Rose wobbling a bit as her heels hit a wet patch. He put his arm around her shoulders and she slid hers around his waist. At the door to her flat she fumbled in her small glittery evening bag for the key. He ran his hands up and down her arms, standing pressed up behind her.

"You're not helping," Rose said, fingers slipping on the bag's clasp.

"Mmm," the Doctor said, putting his head on her shoulder and nipping at her earlobe, "How about this?"

Rose managed to pull out the key and fit it into the lock. They stumbled through the door and the second it shut behind them Rose grabbed his tie and pulled him forward into her. The Doctor went willingly, pushing her body against the wall as he pressed himself to her, his lips descending on hers greedily. Oh yes, he could kiss Rose forever.

He shoved the coat off her shoulders, letting her off the wall with just enough room to let it drop to the floor. His own coat followed and the moment his arms were free he reached for her. His hand went into her hair, cupping the back of her head, and one of her hands went around his waist, pulling him even closer to her as she shoved her tongue into his mouth. Rose pulled his shirt out of his trousers and splayed her hand across his back. Their tongues continued to duel, and with each passing second the Doctor felt himself growing harder and harder. With a groan, he broke from Rose's mouth and fastened down on her neck, sucking on the pulse point. She threw her head back to grant him further access, and he felt the hand she had on his back clutch into a fist. The Doctor slid his hand down the slippery satin of Rose's dress until he found the hem, then slid his hand up across her thigh. Her stockings prevented him from touching her skin, and it was maddening to be so close to her with such a thin barrier still between them.

Rose skimmed her hand around his waist and then suddenly cupped him through his trousers. A violent shudder ripped through him and his fingers dug into her leg.

He ground out her name, _"Rose_."

She pushed off the wall and took his hands, pulling him across the flat and down the hall to her bedroom. Along the way she kicked off each of her shoes, sending them skidding off into the dark. The Doctor grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into another kiss, hands roaming at the back of her dress until he found the zipper. He dragged it down and then it was his turn to run his hand across her back. Rose gasped into his mouth, pushing her hips into him, pressing against his hardness. The burning ache was spreading across him, the desire for Rose that he had spent years ruthlessly stamping down was now racing through him unchecked.

When they made it into Rose's bedroom her dress was unzipped all the way and his suit jacket and tie had been discarded somewhere back in the hall. She started undoing the buttons of his shirt and he continued to circle his hand across her back, tracing patterns with his fingertips. When his shirt was open all the way Rose pushed it off his shoulders and he removed his hands from her so he could pull his arms free of the fabric. The shirt puddled on the floor and the Doctor ran his hands up the sides of Rose's body until he reached the thick straps of her dress. She looked up at him, features a shadowed smudge in the darkness, her eyes huge.

"Doctor." she whispered, and he pulled the dress apart and slid it off her. He knelt down, and Rose put her hands on his shoulders for balance as she stepped out of the dress. The Doctor stayed on his knees and planted a soft kiss on her stomach, feeling Rose's fingers thread through his hair. He took her stockings off, leaving her in nothing but her knickers and bra. They were both lacy and black, and he wondered if she had worn them for him, had thought of them like this when she had been dressing in this very bedroom earlier. He brushed his fingers across the lace, torn between the urge to pull her to the floor and take her as fast and hard as possible, and the need to go slow, to spend hours exploring every inch of her body. Did all human men feel such opposing desires, he wondered?

Rose had settled her hands on his shoulders again, and as he planted another kiss right above the edge of her knickers he felt her fingers clench. The Doctor could smell her arousal and another bolt of desire shot straight through him to his groin. He grasped her hips and pulled her closer to him, feeling her stumble just a bit. He held her steady.

The knickers would have to go, he decided, rolling them down. Rose widened her stance a bit, and he ran his hand along the incredibly soft skin of her inner thighs. He gently started to explore her, feeling heat and slick wetness against his fingers. Rose started to breathe faster, heavier, as he sought out her clit and rubbed it experimentally.

"Like that?" he whispered, looking up at her. Rose's eyes were closed, her mouth slightly open. She nodded.

The Doctor went back to his task, using Rose's gasps as his cues to what gave her pleasure. When he slid one long finger inside of her she moaned and her knees buckled slightly. He kept the finger inside and brushed his thumb over her clit in swirling motions. She shuddered against him, her gasps and moans getting louder and more incoherent. When he slipped a second finger inside Rose's voice dropped an octave and he felt her spasm against his hand. She leaned against him, hands trembling against his shoulders as her breathing gradually slowed back to normal.

"Did you?" he asked, looking up at her again. Her eyes were open now and smile curved across her lips.

"Yes." she answered.

He felt a surge of masculine pride at that. Rose took a step back and he watched as she unfastened her bra and tossed it aside. His palms itched with the urge to cup her breasts and he stood up, reaching for her. She caught him by the wrists before he could touch her and looked down.

"You're wearing too many clothes," Rose said. She kept hold of him and started moving to the side, tugging him with her. He followed, letting her turn him around so that his back was to the bed. "We'll have to do something about that."

She set to work on his belt and he reached up and took the weight of her breasts into his hands, rolling his thumbs across her pert nipples. He felt his trousers slide off his hips and Rose pushed at his stomach, shuffling him backwards until he felt the bed hit his knees. The Doctor sat, and Rose knelt in front of him, removing his shoes and socks and pulling his feet out of the trousers. He could feel her breath hot against the inside of his thighs and he leaned back, sighing.

Rose looked up at him, a wicked smile on her face. Her fingers danced up his legs and dragged slowly across where his cock strained against the confines of his underwear. She hooked the waistband of his boxers and he lifted his hips so she could pull them off. The hot breath returned, little puffs on his bare skin, and as he looked down at her he saw Rose lick her lips.

When her mouth closed over him all the air left his lungs in one great big whoosh. He forgot to breathe again as he felt her tongue swirl over the head of his cock. She sucked him up and down and he followed her movements with his hips. He was breathing now, rough, ragged breaths punctuated with "Ah" and "Rose" and "Yes".

He could feel himself growing close, and tugged Rose off him and up onto the bed. He wasn't going to let things end that quickly and not make love to her properly. They fell into a wet, sloppy kiss, Rose's hands wandering across his chest, his stomach, stroking him up and down lightly. He found her breasts again, kneading the soft flesh, the ache in his groin increasing with each caress.

"I love you," he gasped into her mouth, "Rose, I love you."

She clasped him tight to her, leg going around his hip, "I love you, Doctor. Love you, only you."

He settled between her legs, taking her face between his palms and looking down into her eyes.

"Only you," he repeated, "It's always been you."

Rose smiled up at him, her hand going around his neck. The Doctor dipped his head, pressing his lips to hers, the woman he loved, the only woman he would ever love, Rose was his heart, his life, and he would never let her go.

She shifted under him, and he felt himself brush against her wetness. He went very still, looking down to where their bodies were almost joined.

"Doctor?"

He looked back into Rose's face. She reached up and cupped his cheek and he felt her hips lift. He pushed into her, watching her eyes go very wide. Her hands gripped his shoulders. The Doctor didn't move, letting them both get used to the sensation. The feeling of being inside her was overwhelming and his eyes squeezed shut. He let his head fall forward, burying his face into Rose's neck. Once he had managed to get his breathing under control, he started to rock into her, and Rose's hands slid down his body, urging him on.

They fell into a rhythm that gradually started to increase. Rose made soft noises of pleasure as he thrust in and out, and the Doctor lost himself in the feel of her body, under him, around him. Instinctively he slid his hands under her hips and lifted her up, feeling himself move deeper inside. Rose let out a low moan, breath panting in his ear. He could feel himself building towards release, moving faster and with more force. She arched up into him, breasts pressed tight against his chest, feet digging into his back.

The Doctor pulled up, taking his weight onto his arms and thrusting even harder. Rose's eyes flew open and she looked up at him, and even in the darkness he could see how flushed her face was. Her lips formed his name, although no sound came out.

He tried to say something, her name, "I love you", but found that he had also lost the power of speech. All he could manage were what sounded suspiciously like grunts, each one in time to the movement of his hips.

_"Oh!" _Rose cried out, hands gripping his bum, and he moved even faster and harder. His eyes slammed shut and stars exploded behind his lids, he heard his own hoarse cry as if from very far away and let himself go, spilling into her body. He fell down on her, pinning her to the bed and gasping his release into her skin.

They lay together, Rose stroking a hand up and down his back lightly. Once the Doctor could move again he rolled off of her, feeling cool air hit his sweaty body. He closed his eyes and groped blindly for her hand.

"Good?" he asked, "Rose, was that good?"

He felt her shift, curling into his side, "You have to ask?" she said with amusement.

"Well, you know, just wanted to be certain."

She patted his chest, "Did you hear me complaining?"

The Doctor smiled, "Unless the definition of complaining is completely opposite in this universe, no I didn't."

"It was good, Doctor. Better then good. Fantastic."

Rose rolled away and he opened his eyes, "Rose? Where are you going?"

"Loo," she replied, "I'm going to wash off all this makeup and brush my teeth."

"And then you'll come back and we might possibly...do that again?"

He propped himself up on his elbow and gave her his most winning smile. Rose laughed, leaning back down and planting a quick kiss on his lips.

"I'm all yours," she said.

His smile grew bigger. Rose Tyler was his.

Fantastic.


	7. Some Things are Worth It

Rose lay in bed. She was awake, but she kept her eyes closed, curled up quite comfortably against the solid warm body beside her. The Doctor was still asleep, she had peeked at him when she first woke up and was highly amused by the fact that he'd managed to keep a satisfied smile on his face while sleeping. How did someone who wasn't conscious manage to look so smug? But then, remembering the activities of the night before, Rose supposed he was entitled to his cat in the cream grin.

Their first time had been intense, the release of years of pent-up emotions. Rose knew she'd never forget the look on the Doctor's face when he'd whispered his love for her and slid into her body. The last of her ambivalence had faded, she'd known that this was it, that this man and only this man was her future. They would have a life together, not because they had been thrown together and had no choice, but because they wanted to.

_"I've only got one life, Rose Tyler, I could spend it with you."_

One life, and out of all the places and people in the universe, he wanted to spend it with her.

They'd snuggled into bed together, her head on his shoulder, talking softly. After a while the conversation faded, the soft touches grew heated. They'd made love again, more slowly, taking their time. Rose had shuddered quietly in the Doctor's arms.

_"You like that, Rose? Tell me what you want. Do you want me to touch you here? Or here? Or how about...here?"_

_"Yes...oh...Doctor, yes."_

_"Yes where, Rose?"_

_"Everywhere."_

And he had. And then she had returned the favour.

Rose opened her eyes and glanced at the Doctor. He was still sleeping. And still smirking. She smiled, and carefully edged her way out of the bed. It was tempting to wake him up for another go, and she could think of several inventive ways to pull him from his slumber that she was sure he would enjoy, but another pressing need was making itself clear. She was hungry. Starving, in fact. The food at the Vitex party had been fine, but she had been concentrating on teasing the Doctor with her foot under the table during dinner and hadn't eaten very much as a result. Plus her dress had been so tight she wasn't quite sure there was room for both her and a full meal in it. She'd debated with herself a bit about wearing it, thinking it probably crossed the line of being too sexy for a work event, but in the end had said to hell with it. She had a date with the Doctor and she was going to pull out all the stops. And the results had definitely been worth skipping the mashed potatoes.

Quietly pulling on some yoga sweats Rose left the bedroom and padded barefoot into the kitchen. She examined the contents of the fridge, making a face. They really needed to buy groceries. Tossing a carton of expired yoghurt into the bin, she opened the cabinets. The toaster was still in an alarming number of pieces, so toast was out. A box of pancake mix caught her eye and she pulled it down. There was no syrup, but she did have strawberry jam. In the freezer she found some precooked sausages that could be done in the microwave. Not the healthiest breakfast she'd ever eaten, but her rumbling stomach didn't care.

She was starting the second batch of pancakes when she heard footsteps in the hall.

"Good morning," the Doctor said.

Rose looked over her shoulder at him, "Good morning," she replied, "Breakfast is almost ready."

His arms slid around her waist from behind and she felt his hot breath on her neck.

"Maybe I want you for breakfast."

His voice was low and rough, and sparked right through her. Rose flipped the last pancake and turned around.

"Maybe you need to build up your strength first for what I want," she said, her voice a sexy purr.

The Doctor blinked at that, and a slow smile spread across his face, "You're flirting with me!"

She poked him with the spatula, "You started it."

"Oh, I could start a lot of things. Lots and lots of interesting things," he said, hand creeping into the waistband of her sweats. Rose pulled it back out.

"After breakfast, Doctor. This human needs sustenance first."

"Well, far be it for me to deny you what you need," he winked, putting great emphasis on the word "need".

Rose smiled, "Start the tea, please."

For some reason the Doctor passed on cutlery and insisted on eating breakfast with his hands.

"Pancakes are not finger food, Doctor," Rose said, rolling her eyes.

He used a spoon in the jam jar at her insistence but instead of a knife and fork he was trying to roll the pancakes like crepes and pick them up.

"Anything can be a finger food, Rose, assuming you've got fingers. Which not all species do, of course. There's no finger foods on Janranja Seven, for example, as the native Janranjas have no hands and eat with their feet. Which would be an interesting challenge for us. But as I do not have a burning desire to get jam on my toes, I will stick with my fingers."

The Doctor stuffed an entire pancake in his mouth. Rose took a sip of her tea, "It's going to stick _to_ your fingers," she pointed out.

He shrugged, looking at a spot of jam that remained on his thumb. Then he stuck his tongue out and licked it off. Rose was grateful her oversized mug blocked most of her face so he couldn't see her blush. Oblivious, the Doctor also licked away the flecks of jam that had splattered at the corners of his mouth.

She looked down at her plate, concentrating on cutting her pancakes into small, precise pieces so that she wouldn't have to watch what the Doctor was doing with his tongue. Rose ate her food, trying to ignore the flutterings of desire low in her stomach. When she caught a glimpse of what he was doing to the sausages she nearly dove across the table and into his lap.

After what seemed like an age they finished eating. Rose pushed her plate away and the Doctor licked the remaining drops off his fingers.

"Rose? You've got some jam on your face."

She lifted her hand instinctively, "Where?"

He stuck his index finger in the jar and swiped it across her cheek.

"There."

He was out of his chair and leaning over her, using the flat of his tongue to remove the streak.

"And there."

Another fingerful of jam was rubbed onto her neck and his mouth followed it. Rose shrieked and felt him smile against her skin.

"You're right," he said, pulling back, "Fingers are all sticky now."

"Well, we can't have that."

She took his wrist and popped his finger into her mouth. The Doctor's eyes went wide as she lightly sucked on the digit. Rose repeated the motion on each finger in turn, and could see his erection press against his pyjamas in response.

When she had cleaned each finger thoroughly she dropped his hand and gave him a bright, sunny smile. For a moment he just stood there looking stunned.

"Rose?"

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Is it after breakfast now?"

"It is."

He pulled her out of her chair and she wrapped her arms around his neck. The Doctor's kiss was hungry and intense and tasted like strawberries. Rose returned it, thrusting her tongue into his mouth and feeling his hands roaming into her sweats again, cupping her bottom. She gripped the back of the Doctor's neck, pulling him down to her for easier access to his mouth, feeling a surge of arousal run through her.

They nearly tripped over their own feet as they stumbled into the lounge, still wrapped up in each other's arms. The Doctor was clearly aiming her towards the sofa, and for once they made their destination without any detours along the way. Rose let herself fall backwards onto the cushions, the Doctor landing on top of her. He sat up instantly, grabbing at her trousers and pulling them off. He picked up her foot and nibbled at the inside of her ankle. Rose leaned back on the sofa, watching his progress through half-closed eyes. He moved up her calf to the inside of her knee, and she laughed as he hit a ticklish spot.

"I'll remember that spot," he promised.

When he reached her inner thigh Rose started to shiver with anticipation. The Doctor stroked the outside of her leg with his hand as his tongue trailed a path of heat upwards. She hadn't bothered with knickers that morning and there was nothing between him and his obvious goal.

He settled his mouth between her legs and Rose shut her eyes, a small moan escaping her as she felt the first touch of his tongue. She felt the muscles in her stomach clench as he licked and sucked at her, and when he slid a finger inside her hips rose up off the sofa, pushing herself towards his mouth. Her head fell to the side and she gasped and panted, the Doctor kept at her with his mouth and hands until her body went rigid and the climax overtook her.

Rose opened her eyes to see the Doctor pulling his T-shirt over his head. She yanked off her own top, sitting up and wrapping her legs around him. The Doctor pulled her into his arms, and she tasted herself on his mouth when they kissed. Rose could feel him rock hard pressed against her, and she twisted around, getting her legs free and putting a foot down on the floor.

"Lie down," she instructed, pushing at his shoulders, and the Doctor complied, sliding along the sofa. Rose tugged his pyjamas down enough to free his erection but was in too much of a hurry to remove them completely. She slid a leg over, straddling him and grasped him with her hand, guiding herself down onto him.

The Doctor sucked in a breath of air through gritted teeth and muttered, "Fuck!" Rose braced her hands on his shoulders and started to ride him, slowly at first, enjoying feeling every inch of him slide in and out of her. He reached up and cupped her breasts, playing with her nipples.

"Do you like this?" Rose asked, hair falling in front of her face as she looked down at him.

"Yeah...fuck! Rose, you feel so good," he answered.

She was a bit surprised to hear him swear, something she didn't remember him doing before. But then, they had never done _this_ before. The Doctor's eyes closed and his mouth hung open, breathing heavily as Rose started to pick up the pace. His hands came down to settle on her hips, helping her lift up and slamming her back down onto him. Rose arched her back, feeling the angle change so that he hit her even deeper inside. She started to make little noises of pleasure, and the Doctor brought his hand between them, fingering her clit.

"Ah!" Rose gasped, "Don't....don't stop!"

His hips were raised up, straining towards her. Rose ground down onto him, gripping the back of the sofa for leverage. She felt herself growing closer to another release and from the strain on the Doctor's face he was almost there too. She moved just a bit faster, ecstasy racing through her as she reached the peak and fell over the edge, her movements slowing. The Doctor's eyes popped open and he put both hands back on her hips, thrusting up into her frantically. A few strokes, and he groaned loudly and Rose felt him pulse inside of her.

She fell forward onto his chest, feeling both their hearts racing. Her hair covered her face, blocking her view of him. The Doctor ran one hand up and down her back in soothing strokes, and gradually both their breathing slowed to normal.

He brushed her hair back and kissed her temple.

"Hi."

"Hello."

Rose rolled to the side, feeling him slip out of her. The Doctor reached down and hitched his pyjamas back up.

"Well, that was quite...invigorating. Yes, I feel quite invigorated. Rose, how about you?"

Rose was contemplating climbing back into bed and sleeping for another few hours, "That's not the word I would use."

"Oh?" he raised an eyebrow at her, studying her with that intent look he usually reserved for weird alien things. Rose looked back at him through the sweaty tangle of her hair and he suddenly smiled.

"I wore you out," he said, sounding immensely proud, "I satisfied you. I satiated you. You, Rose Tyler, have been sexually serviced by me, the Doctor, and are now experiencing post-coital fatigue. Well of course you are. I am quite good."

"And so modest, too," Rose replied, rolling her eyes.

"Why be modest? That was brilliant! Wasn't it?"

He suddenly looked unsure, and Rose leaned over him, "If shagging was an Olympic sport we just would have won the silver," she said, kissing his nose.

"See? Wait, why only silver?"

Rose smiled, "Got to give you a goal to aim for, Doctor."

"Ooh, I accept your challenge."

He volunteered to clean the breakfast dishes since Rose had cooked, so she left him to it and went for a shower. While she washed her hair, she began to mentally run down the list of things that needed to be done. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and they were spending the night at her parents' house. She needed to finish Christmas shopping, wrap all the presents, and they desperately need groceries as she was getting sick of takeaway and soon everything would be closed for the holidays.

"Divide and conquer," the Doctor suggested when they were both showered and dressed, "Give me the grocery list and I'll do that while you get the gifts. We can wrap everything up tonight."

Rose agreed and with a goodbye kiss in front of her flat (the Doctor managing to cop a feel through her winter coat) they headed off in opposite directions. She couldn't help the grin that kept creeping across her face whenever she thought back to what had happened on the sofa, and the pleasant soreness between her legs was a constant reminder. Even battling through the crowds in the shops couldn't blacken her good mood.

Having money made a number of things easier and Christmas shopping was no exception. Rose no longer had to agonize over every pound spent, she could easily afford the very best for her family. Picking out a designer handbag for her mum and the latest bright shiny toys for Tony were easy, Pete was a little trickier, but she managed to get him squared away.

The Doctor was impossible.

Clothes? She had just bought him armloads of them. Cologne? A bit generic. Jewellery? Rose peered into a display case, pondering the irony of buying a Time Lord a watch. She shook her head and walked away. A shop assistant tried to help by asking if her "boyfriend" had any hobbies. It was extremely strange to hear the Doctor described as her boyfriend, and her stomach did a little flip of excitement as she realized, that yes, he was now. But hobbies? Why of course, his hobbies included travelling in time and space, defeating hostile aliens bent on overtaking the Earth, brooding over the loss of his people and his entire world, and running for his life. Got anything to stick in a gift box for that?

Rose smiled at the woman and said, no, he didn't really have any hobbies. She moved on, the shopping bags in her arms starting to get heavy, and decided to take a quick break. She found a cafe and sat down with a cup of tea and a chocolate brownie. Rose nibbled at her treat, looking out the window that overlooked the street, watching people walk back and forth with their shopping. She took her mobile out to check the time and frowned. It would be getting dark soon, and she wanted to go back home.

Tapping the mobile against the table, she tried again to think of something she could get the Doctor. She drained the last of her tea and stood up, tossing the phone back into her bag. It made a muffled sound as it hit the interior, and Rose paused. A phone maybe? He would need one. It didn't seem particularly exciting, but she supposed it was practical, and would be easy.

She shrugged. It wasn't perfect, but she was running out of time and it would have to do. Rose left the cafe and hunted for a phone shop. A salesman walked her through the options, handing her the display models. She picked one with a good range of features and he started demonstrating them.

"And it has quite a good camera as well, better then most models," he said, snapping a picture.

Rose looked at the image on the little screen. She had a sudden idea as she remembered something that had slipped her mind. Thinking it over while the salesman went to get the phone she'd chosen, she liked the idea more and more. She'd need to make one more stop, and would have to find some time to use her computer without the Doctor seeing what she was doing, but that shouldn't be too difficult.

"Here you are. Have a Merry Christmas," the salesman said, handing over her purchase.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too," Rose replied.

She visited one more shop and bought what she needed, then she took a taxi back home. Her feet were starting to hurt and she looked forward to a quiet night in with the Doctor. The stress of last minute Christmas shopping began to melt away as she thought again about the very pleasant night and morning they had spent together.

The level of intimacy they had shared was far beyond anything Rose had ever experienced in her previous relationships. She had loved Mickey, and if the Doctor had never entered her life she would probably be married to him by now, maybe with a child or two, and they would have been happy. But the Doctor had come along, and she had thrown caution to the wind and followed the most intriguing person she had ever met in her short life. He had shown her the universe, and it had been thrilling and terrifying and at some point in between the near-death scrapes and the alien planets and watching history unfold she had fallen utterly in love with him. And that had been the scariest experience of them all. But, as she had once been told, it had been worth it. She had found courage and strength that she hadn't known she'd possessed through her love for him, and though her heart had broken more then once along the way, she still wanted to be with him more then anything she had ever wanted in her life.

The Christmas lights were lit up when she entered the flat, and the Doctor was in the kitchen, chopping vegetables.

"I got all the things on the list," he said, after they had kissed hello, "Just thought I'd get dinner started so it would be ready to go when you got home."

"What are you making?" Rose asked.

"Stir-fry. I've got the chicken marinating in the fridge. Did you find everything you needed?"

Rose stole a slice of bell pepper and popped it in her mouth, "Yeah, I think I did. Back in a tick."

She put the shopping bags on a chair and pulled out the ones with the Doctor's gifts. Glancing at the kitchen to make sure he wasn't looking, she took them into her office and tucked them away in her desk. Then she went back and helped him make the meal. It was simple but tasty, and they each ate a heaping bowlful. They washed the dishes together, Rose at the sink and the Doctor on drying duty.

"Well, let's get the gifts wrapped," Rose said when they had put everything away.

The Doctor turned on the telly, hunting for a Christmas programme to watch while Rose got out the wrapping paper and scissors. He settled on a broadcast of a London Philharmonic holiday concert and sat down on the floor with her, pulling the gifts out of the bags. He raised an eyebrow at the purse she had bought for her mother, bright purple and covered in giant logos and gold hardware.

"Rose, this is perfectly ghastly."

She snatched it from him, "Yes, I know. Mum will love it," and they both laughed. Rose's taste had matured in the last few years, her mother's had not.

He examined the remote control dinosaur for Tony with such enthusiasm that Rose was tempted to ask if he wanted one for himself. He tried to wheedle her into letting him open the box so he could "test it out to make sure it worked properly" and she wound up holding it behind her back, fending him off. He made a few attempts to get around her, before abandoning the toy in favour of pulling her into his lap instead and kissing her senseless.

"Oh, testing me out instead, are we?" Rose teased.

"Do you require four triple A batteries to operate? Are you suitable for ages 24 months and up?" he joked back, nuzzling her neck.

They managed to finish the wrapping, despite crushing some of the paper when they accidentally rolled onto it. Rose gathered up the leftover scraps of paper and threw them out while the Doctor stacked the gifts on the coffee table.

"Are we all set, then?" the Doctor asked.

"I think so."

He held out a hand to her and Rose took it, dropping back down on the floor next to him. He brushed a kiss across her knuckles and she leaned against his shoulder.

"Doctor," she said, feeling hesitant, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Rose."

"Why did we never snog or anything before? When we travelled together. Did you...not want to?"

He turned towards her, a serious expression on his face, "It's not that I didn't want to. But you were so young, and I knew things weren't resolved between you and Mickey for a long time and I didn't want you to feel that you had to choose between us or anything. And then I changed, and you had to get used to the new me, and I had to get used to it too...and to be quite honest, I was scared."

Rose frowned, "Scared? Of what? Me?"

"Yes," he said, "Scared of how much you meant to me. Of messing it up and making you want to leave. Sex complicates things for humans and we were complicated enough back then, weren't we? I know I didn't handle every situation well, like when you met Sarah Jane, and I wasn't quite sure if we could add a physical relationship and not wind up ruining everything. I needed you, Rose, needed you with me too much to risk it."

"And now? Are you still scared?"

"Yes. I don't want to muck this up. I need you."

Rose smoothed his hair back from his forehead, seeing the raw emotions in his eyes.

"I don't want to mess up either," she admitted, "I need you too."

"Are you scared too, Rose?"

"Yes. But I'm with you, and that's all that matters."

They went to bed not long after, and once the Doctor had fallen asleep Rose crept out of the bedroom and into her office. She used the computer, trying to be as quiet as possible. When she was finished and had hidden everything away again she slipped back into the bed.

"Did you go somewhere?" the Doctor mumbled sleepily.

"Shh," Rose said, "I'm here."

His arm snaked around her, and she closed her eyes. The fear would not go away overnight for either of them, but they would move past it.

And she knew what they had was worth it.


	8. Part of the Family

"Rose? Is this everything we're taking?"

She looked at the pile on the floor, the presents and the overnight bag they were bringing to her parents' house.

"I think so, yeah. I'll just double-check the bedroom."

The Doctor put on his shoes and coat while Rose slipped off down the hall. He looked at the brightly wrapped gifts peeking out from the shopping bags and frowned, patting the small package tucked away in his pocket. His Christmas gift for Rose, something he had made for her over the last few days when he had been alone in the flat. It wasn't big, but it incorporated something very special to him, and he hoped she would like it.

Rose came back from the bedroom, "It's all there," and checked her watch, "The car should be here in just a few minutes."

They rode in the same Mercedes as before, Rose chatting away with the Sam driver about his Christmas plans. As soon as he dropped them off at the Tylers he was going to pick up his wife and children and go to his in-laws house. The Doctor was content to listen to the conversation without joining in, holding Rose's hand while he looked out the window.

At the house they were met by a bouncing-off-the-walls Tony, who ran to them with a stuffed otter under his arm, yelling, "Rose! Rose! Rose! It's Christmas! Santa's coming! Santa! Santa! Santa!"

Rose grabbed her brother and flipped him upside down, "That's right. Santa's coming, and what's he bringing for Tony?"

"Toys!" Tony shrieked.

"Lots of toys?" Rose asked.

"Toys!" Tony repeated, "Santa!"

Rose set him back on his feet and he scooped his otter back up and took off down the hall, yelling for Jackie.

The Doctor blinked.

"I thought you said he was shy?"

"Not around family," Rose said, tossing him a smile, "Mum, we're here!"

They were welcomed in with hugs and kisses by a somewhat frazzled looking Jackie. She took the gifts from them and Rose went upstairs to put their overnight bag away.

"Doctor, please tell me you know some alien way of making a child calm down?" Jackie asked, wincing as Tony's shrieks increased several decibels.

"Nope, sorry," the Doctor replied cheerfully, "Children being hyperactive on holidays is a universal constant."

"Brilliant. Well, make yourself useful then and go play with him and try to wear him out."

He followed the sound of Tony's voice and found him in the family room, running circles around the coffee table with his otter held aloft. When he saw the Doctor he ran over and grabbed his hand.

"Santa's coming," Tony said with all the seriousness a three year old could muster, "Mummy promised."

"You're mummy's right, Tony. Santa's coming tonight. And how does Santa get into the house?"

"Chimney!"

"Did you check the chimney to make sure it's ready for Santa?" the Doctor asked. Tony shook his head, eyes going very big.

"Well, we'll have to check. What if it's not ready and Santa can't get in?"

Tony gasped, "No toys!" he wailed.

"Right, and we can't let that happen, can we? Now, Tony, will you be my assistant on this important chimney-checking mission?"

Tony threw his arms up in the air, his stuffed toy flying across the room, "Yes!"

"What are you two doing?"

The Doctor twisted around to see Rose standing in the middle of the room. He aimed the torch at her playfully and she squinted.

"Tony and I are on a very important mission. We're checking the chimney to make sure it's all ready for Santa."

He ducked his head back into the fireplace and aimed the torch back up, "Does it look okay, Tony?"

"Will Santa fit?"

"Course he will," the Doctor reassured, "Come on, we have to go check the outside now," he got to his feet and helped Tony stand up, "Let's get out coats."

"Outside? You're not taking him on the roof, are you?" Rose asked, sounding very alarmed.

The Doctor rolled his eyes, "Yes, Rose, I'm taking a three year old child onto a roof. I am that irresponsible."

"Hey, you took me to lots of dangerous places. Does a space station under a black hole ring a bell?"

"You weren't three years old," he pointed out, and Rose snorted.

"I'm the Doctor's assistant!" Tony proclaimed, his small body puffing up with pride.

Rose smiled down at her brother, "You are? Well, you'll have to learn rule number one then, don't wander off! I was never very good at that one."

"That's putting it mildly. Come along Tony, let's go check out that roof."

He got them both bundled up and took Tony outside, tromping around the Tyler house while he explained the physics of how Santa and his sleigh would land on the roof. Tony listened intently, holding the Doctor's hand. The small fingers placed so trustingly in his own gave him a glimpse of a possible future timeline, fuzzy and indistinct, a vision of another small hand that he would hold. The surge of emotion he felt as the image faded was like nothing he had ever experienced before, and he was rendered momentarily speechless by it, until Tony tugged on his hand and asked impatiently, "Then what, Doctor?"

The Doctor smiled down into the little face, so like Rose's, and continued on, tucking the mental picture away.

After they had circled the entire house and ensured everything was in optimal Santa-ready condition they headed back inside and were met by Jackie and Rose. Jackie pulled off Tony's coat and boots as he chatted away at her about Santa travelling in the slipstream of the aurora borealis, the average flying speed of reindeer, and the amount of torque in the sleigh.

"Slipstream? Torque? What in the world were you telling him?" Jackie asked the Doctor over Tony's head.

"Just explaining Santa's magic," the Doctor said, with a wink, "Right, Tony?"

"I'm the Doctor's assistant!" Tony told his mother, who looked less then thrilled.

"Oh, that's just what I need," Jackie grumbled, leading Tony down the hall.

Rose laughed softly, stepping over with two mugs in her hand. She held one out to the Doctor, "You've got a new fan. Hot cocoa?"

He hung his coat up in the closet and took the mug, "Thanks."

They went into the family room. Jackie and Pete were on the sofa and Tony was settled in front of the coffee table with crayons and paper, drawing away with a look of intense concentration on his face, tongue poking out the side of his mouth.

The four adults chatted. A stray comment from Pete about a disgraced politician led to the Doctor and Rose telling the story of Harriet Jones and the Sycorax invasion, censoring it a bit for Tony's ears.

"And you really had your hand?" Pete mimed cutting off his hand and the Doctor nodded.

"Yup. Stung a bit."

"And then it grew back!" Rose said. "I had thought I'd seen everything, then he goes and does that!"

Jackie picked up the story, bragging about how it was her tea that had revived the Doctor. Rose took his hand, the one that had been lopped off on Christmas Day, the hand he had grown from, and turned it over, running her fingers over his palm.

"Still think it's creepy?" he whispered to her.

"No. I'm thinking this is the hand I first held after you changed. When I didn't believe you were still the Doctor," Rose whispered back, "But you told me those things only you would know, and took my hand, and I knew it was still somehow you."

She laced their fingers together and gave his hand a squeeze. The Doctor realized he had done the same thing on the beach in Norway, told Rose something only he knew, and held her hand. Maybe more then the words themselves, his familiar actions had reassured her that although he had changed, it was still him.

The big turkey dinner was tomorrow, so they sat down to a light easy supper. After the meal Tony was permitted one Christmas cartoon and more colouring time before bed. Rose volunteered them to do the clean up, so the Doctor helped her carry the dishes back into the kitchen.

"I'm surprised your mother doesn't have a staff to do this. Wasn't there quite a lot of people working for Pete and the other Jackie?"

Rose was stacking plates in the dishwasher, "Yeah, there was a load of people at first and mum loved it - for a few months. Then she started to get bored. She didn't have to work, everything around the house was being done for her and it was driving her batty. Now there's just the chauffeur, a gardener and a housekeeper who comes twice a week, I think, and Mum does the rest. She also didn't want Tony to grow up all spoiled by having an army catering to his every whim."

The clean up finished, they rejoined the rest of the family. When they entered the room Tony jumped up, waving his latest drawing in the air. He skipped over to Rose and handed it to her.

"Here Rose."

"Is this for me?" Rose asked, and Tony nodded, "Thank you."

The Doctor stepped next to her and Rose showed him the paper. It showed a stick figure with yellow hair holding hands with a taller stick figure with a scribble of brown atop it's head.

"Is that us?" the Doctor asked.

Rose nodded, "Yeah, I think it is."

He felt a warm glow start to spread over him, holding the drawing while Rose gave her brother a hug of thanks.

"Now, Tony, it's time to hang up the stockings and then it's off to bed. Do you remember where the stockings are?" Jackie said, taking Tony's hand, "Let's go get them so Santa can fill them up when he comes tonight."

"Santa!" Tony shrieked, pulling his mother out of the room. They returned with the stockings clutched triumphantly in Tony's chubby fists, and Pete lifted him up so he could reach the fireplace mantel.

"Now that's mine," Pete said, helping Tony thread the small loop onto the hangers already set across the mantel, "And Mummy's, and Rose's and who's is this?"

"Mine!" Tony yelled with delight at the red felt stocking with his name written across the top.

"And we've got a new one this year! Who's stocking is this?" Pete asked, and the Doctor saw there was one left.

"Doctor!" Tony answered, twisting around to point at him, "Doctor's stocking!"

Rose came over and slipped her arm around his waist while Pete and Tony hung up a green stocking with "DOCTOR" written on it. He felt his face flush with a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment.

"That's the whole family," Jackie said, "Time to say goodnight Tony. Give everyone a kiss."

Pete set Tony back down and he ran straight to the Doctor and threw his arms around his waist.

"Goodnight Doctor," Tony said, smiling up at him. The Doctor swung the little boy up and he squealed in delight.

"Goodnight Tony."

Rose leaned over and kissed Tony's cheek.

"Goodnight sweetheart. We'll see you in the morning."

Jackie carried Tony upstairs and once they were gone Pete said in a rather urgent tone, "Doctor, I need your help with something."

Startled, he replied, "Yes, of course."

"Be right back," Pete said, and left the room. The Doctor raised his eyebrows at Rose, who shrugged.

"Don't look at me, I have no idea."

Pete reappeared lugging a large box, "Help me put together this tricycle."

Rose started to laugh, "Dad! Why didn't you buy one already assembled?"

"Because they charge extra for that! I don't throw away money on something that I am perfectly capable of doing myself. Meant to do it a bit earlier, but no matter, I'm sure with the Doctor here it'll be done in no time."

"Pete's right, Rose," the Doctor said, rolling up the sleeves of his blue button-down shirt, "You know, I was personally involved in the construction of Hadrian's Wall, and nineteen hundred years later it's still standing. Why trust your brother's safety with some unknown shop assistant? We'll have it put together," he snapped his fingers, "Like that."

Muttering something about her toaster still being in pieces, Rose left the room.

"Jackie said the same thing about buying one assembled," Pete said, opening the box, "They just don't get it."

"Women," the Doctor agreed.

It didn't go quite as smoothly as he had thought. The directions were only in German, a language he admitted he was rather rusty in, and he didn't have his specs, which would have helped immensely. Rose reappeared, carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses, and was joined by Jackie, coming back down from tucking Tony in. The two of them sat on the sofa, drinking wine and observing the proceedings with a great deal of laughter and unhelpful commentary.

Finally the tricycle was assembled, even if there were a few extra pieces left over, "They always include a few bits you don't really _need_," the Doctor insisted, and they set it under the tree with a large bow tied to the handlebars.

"Next time pay the fifteen quid for the shop to put it together," Jackie said, dropping a kiss on the top of her husband's head and Pete rather sheepishly agreed, "Yes dear."

When Jackie and Pete retired for the night and went upstairs, the Doctor and Rose stayed in the family room, listening to Christmas music on the radio. Rose turned the overhead light off, leaving the room lit up only by the tree, and cuddled up with him on the sofa. The Doctor put his arm around her, thinking how strange it was that once the night was over he'd have to wait a whole year for Christmas Eve to come around again. There would be no skipping ahead or jumping back, his life would be entirely linear from now on, Tuesday would always come after Monday, January after December. He would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, sleep and wake, shower and shave. The days would pass and seasons would change, but in their own time now, not at his whim. His single heart would beat at the human pace, until one day it would stop, and that would be it. There wouldn't be a new face in the mirror, wouldn't be a new life to assume.

Rose would never be left behind. He hugged her tighter at the thought, and she turned her head to look at him.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

"You," he replied truthfully, and she smiled her beautiful smile.

"Let's go to bed."

They were spending the night in a overly floral guest room. The Doctor went into the ensuite while Rose rummaged around in their bag. When he came out she was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, and he stopped and blinked at her in confusion.

"What are those?" he asked. Rose looked down at herself.

"What? My pyjamas?"

"Your pyjamas? Are you sure you didn't steal those off a five year old?"

"They're my Christmas pyjamas!" Rose said, sounding insulted.

The pyjamas in question were bright pink with snowmen and reindeer in jaunty scarves printed all over them. Rose slid off the bed and went into the ensuite, nose up in the air. The Doctor undressed and got into the bed, sliding over to leave room for her. She came back into the bedroom, switching off the light and hopping into bed with him.

"Rose?"

"Not one word about my pyjamas."

"No! They're lovely of course..bit juvenile...but quite festive, really! The thing is, why are you wearing them now?"

"Cause it's Christmas. You know, big tree downstairs, Santa Claus, turkey dinner? Want me to show you a calender?"

"Ha ha. No, I mean, why are you wearing them now, while we're in this nice big bed? This nice big bed where we can..."

He pressed his naked body against her and she scooted away.

"Doctor!"

"What?"

"This is my parents house! We can't...you know...what if they heard us?"

"Rose, there's like a mile in between this room and your parents. You could throw a rock concert in here and they wouldn't hear it."

He crept towards her and slipped a hand under her top, cupping her soft breast. Rose stiffened but didn't pull away. He put his lips next to her ear.

"I won't make a sound, I promise."

"Not a single sound?"

"Totally silent."

He eased her clothes off, stifling the comments he wanted to make about the childish outfit, and gathered her up in his arms. Rose stroked her hands up and down his back, and tilted her face up to receive his kiss. His movements were slow and unhurried, gently parting her lips with his tongue and sweeping into her mouth for long moments. Rose responded in kind, her touch on his body soft and light. The Doctor grew hard and ready under her hand, but made no move to take things further quite yet, enjoying the way Rose was trembling against him. True to his word he stayed quiet, the only sounds in the room was that of their somewhat ragged breathing.

He moved his hand between her legs and almost groaned when he felt how wet and aroused she was. Rose pressed her face into his shoulder as he slid a finger inside, but she made no sound, just moving her hips in time with his hand. He moved faster at her silent urging, feeling her wetness increase against his hand, until she went limp against him.

The Doctor tried to roll on top of Rose fully, but she stopped him with a hand on his chest. He was confused as she pulled out of his arms and shifted away, but then she grabbed his arm and pulled him against her, her back against his front. She lifted her leg slightly and he felt himself slide against her entrance. He ran his hand along the curves of her body and pushed his hips forward, sliding into her. In this position it was a much tighter fit and he bit his lip to keep himself from moaning out loud as her wet heat enveloped him.

They stayed motionless for a long moment. Rose used muscles he hadn't known she possessed to squeeze him from the inside and he closed his eyes, hand clutching her hip. When he couldn't take the exquisite torment any longer he started to move, pressing his hand on her flat stomach as their hips rocked together. His mouth came down on her shoulder, sucking at the crease where it met her neck and Rose reached around, grasping his bum.

The Doctor lost himself in Rose and felt the release building up. He pushed against her harder and wound up rolling them so that Rose was on her stomach. His body covered hers, pressing her down into the bed as his hips sped up. Teeth gritted to keep himself from making noise, he bucked into her hard, once, twice, and on the third thrust he came, collapsing on top of Rose as the breath left his lungs.

"See?" he said, panting a little, "Quiet as a mouse."

He rolled off and ran his hand up and down Rose's sweaty back. She opened one eye and looked at him.

"You never cease to amaze me," she said, and leaned forward to kiss him.

Rose fell asleep not long after, but he stayed awake, lying on his back with his hands clasped under his head, staring up at the ceiling. The Doctor's thoughts turned to his counterpart, the Time Lord on the other side of the Void. He would be moving on, as he always did, finding new adventures and new companions to travel with. A small part of him ached for that existence, for all the loneliness and loss it had been the only life he'd known for centuries. But he knew that a much larger part of the Time Lord ached for what his human self had been given, a family that had taken him in and made him one of their own, and a woman he could love without fear, who would stay with him for his forever. He had felt the temptation in the other Doctor's hearts, the urge to take Rose and run, leaving everyone else behind and pretending that none of it ever happened. Martha's heart had never broken over him, Jack had never known he'd been abandoned out of prejudice and selfishness, Donna had never been handed the universe and then had it snatched so cruelly away.

But it had all happened, and the one thing he had never been able to do was to change his own past. No one, Time Lord or human, could do that.

He had looked into his own eyes and seen the span of Time, the before and after, the here and now. The Earth had turned under their feet, above their heads stars and planets were born, lived and died in the blink of an eye. He had felt the love for Rose the Time Lord would carry through the rest of his lives, her memory locked away where it would never fade or be forgotten. She would be immortal to him, and he had made a piece of himself mortal for her.

Love was the most powerful force in the universe. Love had saved him more times then he could remember, and had brought him to his deepest despair. He had not been born, as his other self had claimed, of battle and blood, but of love, the love of two incredible women, Rose Tyler and Donna Noble.

_"Thank you," _

he thought, reaching out across the Void to the two people he had come from, Time Lord and human, and turned to the woman sleeping next to him, brushing away the hair that had fallen in front of her face.

_"Thank you." _


	9. I'll Be Home For Christmas

Author's Notes: This is it, the final chapter of In the Bleak Midwinter. Thank you so much to everyone who has been following along, I cherish every one of your lovely reviews. They have definitely made all the hours I've struggled with this fic worth it. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

The room was dark and a little cold. Rose shifted around, her sleep-fogged mind confused by the unfamiliar bed and the lack of the presence she had been seeking in her half-awake state.

She opened her eyes. The Doctor was not in the bed with her, and lifting her head to look at the bedside clock Rose saw that it was 5:13 am. There was no light under the ensuite door, so he wasn't in the loo. What was he doing up so early?

Rose got out of bed and hunted around for her discarded pyjamas. Once dressed, she left the room and went quietly down the hall to the stairs. She made her way to the main floor, keeping her ears open for any sound of the the Doctor. Unsurprisingly, he was in the family room. He had turned the tree lights on and was sitting on the sofa in his pyjamas and robe, nursing a cup of tea. Rose paused in the door, watching his face in the soft light. He looked so young, hair tousled from sleep, the small lines on his face washed away. She loved him more then she could possibly put into words.

"What are you doing up so early?" Rose asked, keeping her voice soft.

He shrugged, "Was just thinking a lot last night. Didn't sleep very much."

She moved into the room and sat down next to him. At some point in the night her mother or Pete had come down and filled the stockings, and they hung plump and full from the mantle, a candy cane sticking out of each. There were more presents under the tree, with Tony's new tryke still holding the place of pride in front.

"I used to wake up early every Christmas and would just sit by the tree and stare at everything, waiting for Mum to get up. No matter how bad things were she always managed to put a few things under the tree for me every year. I don't know how she did it."

"Your mother's an amazing woman, Rose, and don't ever tell her I said that."

Rose nudged him, "Yeah, she loves you too."

They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes, Rose closed her eyes and had almost dozed off when the Doctor cleared his throat and she felt him shift on the sofa.

"Rose? I, um, have a little gift for you, and I think I'd like you to open it now, when it's just the two of us."

"Okay," Rose said, surprised. She hadn't really been expecting a gift from him, in fact she kind of felt like he was her gift. Filing away the thought of the Doctor in a big red bow and nothing else for later, she turned to face him.

The Doctor fished in the pocket of his robe and pulled out a small package wrapped in gold paper with a silver ribbon. A small tag hung from the bow and read simply, "Rose".

Rose took the present and turned it over in her hands. The Doctor picked up his tea and watched her thread the loose ends of the ribbon between her fingers.

"The actual gift is inside, you know." he said. Rose stuck her tongue out at him.

"Quiet you, I'm savouring the moment," she said.

"Then by all means, keep savouring."

They smiled at each other. Rose untied the bow and peeled off the wrapping paper to reveal a plain white box. She took off the lid and looked down at a necklace resting on a bed of white cotton.

"Do you like it?" the Doctor asked, sounding shy.

"Oh, it's beautiful," Rose said, lifting it out. Hung on a simple silver chain was a wire-wrapped pink stone pendant. The stone was roughly teardrop-shaped, a bit bigger then her thumbnail, and the wire swirled around it in a Celtic-looking design.

"Doctor, thank you," she said, letting the pendant fall into the palm of her hand and stopped in surprise, "It feels warm!"

"Close your hand around it and close your eyes," the Doctor instructed. Rose complied, concentrating on the weight of it in her fist. The metal was cool against her skin, but where the stone touched there was definite warmth and faintly, as if from far away, she thought she heard humming. A very familiar hum.

She opened her eyes in shock and found the Doctor still smiling at her. "The TARDIS," she whispered, "I can hear her."

"Yes," he said, holding out his hand. Rose passed him the necklace and he held it up so that the pendant dangled between them at eye level. Rose stared at the little pink stone.

"It's a piece of TARDIS coral. I took it with me when we left. It's like a seed, do you remember when I told you that a TARDIS was grown?"

Rose nodded.

"This is how they begin. If we had a few centuries and the right equipment, this coral would grow into another TARDIS. Here on Earth it will just remain like this. But Rose and I will still hear you singing, won't we girl?" he said, giving the stone a pat. The Doctor passed the necklace back to Rose and she held it tightly, feeling tears prick at the back of her eyes.

"A piece of the TARDIS? It was your home, and I know how much it meant to you. And you want me to have it?" Rose whispered, looking at the Doctor in amazement.

He ducked his head slightly and reached for her free hand. Rose clasped her fingers with his.

"This is my home now. You're my home, Rose. I want you to have this, to keep it safe. Will you do that for me?"

"Yes," she said, "I'll wear it always."

She handed the necklace to the Doctor and turned, lifting her hair up. He put it around her neck and fastened the clasp, and the pendant nestled on her chest. Rose smiled, looking down at it. She knew that no one else would ever understand the true significance of the gesture, to the rest of the world it would just be a simple piece of jewelry, but to her it was the most precious gift she had ever been given.

"Thank you," she said, facing him again and leaning forward to kiss him, "It's wonderful."

Rose hugged the Doctor, and his arms came around her, holding her tight. He truly was hers, her Doctor, her love, hers forever.

They broke apart and Rose blinked, clearing away the moisture from her eyes.

"I have something you can open now, too," she said, getting off the sofa and kneeling by the tree. She rummaged in the pile of packages, leaving the square box that held the mobile phone and pulling out his other gift.

"Here," she said, handing it to him.

The Doctor put down his tea and took the gift. Rose sat cross-legged on the floor and leaned her chin on her hand, watching him unwrap the paper. A look of shock crossed his face as he lifted the first item out.

"Sarah Jane," he said, carefully cradling the framed photo, "Where did you get a picture of her?"

Rose smiled, "I wasn't sure if you'd noticed, but when we were all in the TARDIS after bringing the Earth back home I took a few pictures on my phone."

They had all been so happy, jumping around, hugging and laughing, celebrating their victory. It had been too painful for her to think about, after the other Doctor had left them behind, and she had forgotten about the pictures until the salesman had mentioned cameras when he was showing her the phones.

Rose had uploaded the photos to her computer while the Doctor was sleeping and gone through them, selecting the best ones to print out. The ones with Mickey she had saved into her photos file and sent out a silent wish that he would finally find what he needed and have a good life.

She had spent a long moment looking at a picture of the Doctor, the first one, the one who had left them. He had been standing apart from the others, hands in his pockets and a wistful look on his face. Rose was sure he had not known she was taking his photo, his expression was far too unguarded. She remembered how tightly he had held her before he had exited the TARDIS to see Mickey, Martha and Jack off. His farewell, saying a silent goodbye that she hadn't understood until he had already gone.

What would she have done? Rose tried to imagine his impossible choice, what if there had been two of her, the fragile human, and another Rose, one with all her memories, who loved him just as she did, but who wouldn't age, wouldn't die, a Rose who truly would never leave him. And she had felt the last of her anger at him fade, it was a decision no one should ever have to make. He had sacrificed his own happiness for hers, and even if he couldn't say the words, Rose knew that he did love her. She had always known.

The Doctor lifted out the next picture, Martha and Jack, faces pressed together and smiling. Jack had made a suggestive comment after Rose had taken the picture and Martha had playfully swatted him on the arm. Rose didn't know very much about Martha, but she hoped the Doctor would tell her one day.

"Oh Rose," he said at the last picture. He ran his fingers across the glass, across the photo of himself and Donna. They were leaning against one of the TARDIS' support struts, both with their arms crossed casually and smiling at each other.

"I thought you might want something to remember them by," Rose said.

The Doctor set the pictures carefully on the coffee table and slid down onto the floor with her. He took Rose's hands and looked at her intently.

"Thank you," he said, "I can't tell you what it means to me that you did this."

Rose cleared away the discarded gift wrap while the Doctor took his pictures upstairs to tuck them away in their bag. She thought that trying to talk about his friends to her parents might be a little much for him to handle right now. His hands had shook on the photo of Donna, and Rose knew that they'd have to talk about her eventually. Whatever had happened, it wasn't good for him to keep it bottled up.

She went into the kitchen to toss the rubbish and glanced out the window as she threw it into the bin under the sink. She frowned, squinting. It couldn't be what it looked like, could it? Curious, she left the kitchen.

"Rose?" she heard the Doctor call.

"I'm at the front door," she replied, pulling on her boots, "Doctor, come take a look at this."

"What is it?"

He appeared in the hall and she passed him his coat, "We're going outside."

They stepped out the door and looked up into the sky. What she had seen from the kitchen window wasn't an illusion, it had started to snow. Soft flakes drifted down, the lawn was already half-covered.

"Please tell me this is just regular, ordinary snow," Rose said, remembering a spaceship being shot out of the sky and a city covered in ash.

The Doctor stuck his tongue out and a snowflake landed on it.

"Seems to just be snow," he said.

"This is incredible. There hasn't been a white Christmas in years. Not since I've lived here anyways."

They moved a bit farther from the house. Rose held out her hand, watching the little white flakes melt on contact with her skin. In the east, she could see the first faint streaks of pink and gold that heralded the sunrise. Christmas Day was about to begin, Tony would be up soon and would come bounding down the stairs to see what Santa had brought him, Mum and Pete would follow, smiling at their son's enthusiasm. They'd sit around the tree and pass out the gifts, oohing and awing over each package. Mum would make breakfast, Tony would ride his new tryke around the kitchen, Pete would take pictures. And through it all the Doctor would be at her side.

"Are you happy, Rose? Happy here, with me?"

She looked over at where the Doctor stood, hands in his pockets and snow dusting his hair.

"We can't travel to the stars anymore. Can't see the future, or the past. It's a whole new life."

Rose cocked her head at him, "We still see the future, Doctor, every second that passes we're moving forward in time."

He smiled at that, "I suppose you're right."

"I'm happy. We're still gonna go places and see new things. You and me, Doctor, it's our new life."

She went over to him and held out her hand, wiggling her fingers in invitation. He reached for her, and their hands clasped together. They both looked up into the dawn of a new day, into the dawn of their new future.

"I love you, Rose."

Rose smiled at the man beside her, "I love you."

The pendant with the piece of the TARDIS rested warm against her skin. It had been his life, and Rose knew that a part of the Doctor would always miss what he had left behind to be with her. But they would move forward together, and live their life, day by day.

And for the first time since she had landed in this world, Rose knew that she had finally found home.

End.

In the Bleak Midwinter, by Christina Rossetti

_In the bleak midwinter  
__Frosty wind made moan,  
__Earth stood hard as iron,  
__Water like a stone;  
__Snow had fallen,  
__Snow on snow,  
__Snow on snow,  
__In the bleak midwinter,  
__Long ago._

_Our God, heaven cannot hold him,  
__Nor earth sustain;  
__Heaven and earth shall flee away  
__When he comes to reign;  
__In the bleak midwinter  
__A stable place sufficed  
__The Lord God incarnate,  
__Jesus Christ._

_Enough for him, whom Cherubim  
__Worship night and day  
__A breast full of milk  
__And a manger full of hay.  
__Enough for him, whom angels  
__Fall down before,  
__The ox and ass and camel  
__which adore._

_Angels and archangels  
__May have gathered there,  
Cherubim__ and seraphim  
__Thronged the air;  
__But his mother only,  
__In her maiden bliss,  
__Worshipped the Beloved  
__With a kiss._

_What can I give him,  
__Poor as I am?  
__If I were a shepherd  
__I would bring a lamb,  
__If I were a wise man  
__I would do my part,  
__Yet what I can I give Him —  
__Give my heart._


End file.
